*beep beep, beep beep*
Snake: This is Snake. Colonel, can you hear me?
Campbell: Loud and clear. What’s the situation, Snake?
Snake: I’ve arrived in a sort of digital space. Hard to know exactly what’s going on, but I’m in a blank room, and the words ‘Nintendo Life’ and ‘Box Art Brawl’ appear to be materialising in front of me.
Campbell: What?! Okay, you’ll have to make your way out, somehow. But make sure nobody sees you.
Snake: There’s something else. There’s a leaderboard in the back of the room; apparently last week’s Box Art Brawl featured something called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time. Colonel, what’s going on?
Campbell: I have no idea. What else does it say?
Snake: It says that North America and Europe won the vote with 76%, with Japan trailing at 24%. Is this the work of FoxHound?
Campbell: FoxHound disbanded after the Shadow Moses incident, Snake. You should know this.
Snake: Hrrrrm. Wait – there’s something else. The leaderboard has changed. It’s now displaying something called ‘Metal Gear: Ghost Babel’… Metal Gearrr?! Colonel, is there a new Metal Gear prototype I’m not aware of?!
Campbell: It’s a possibility. We might have to wait and see what the vote is on this one to determine our next move. Who are the participants?
Snake: North America, Europe, and Japan. It’s a three-way battle.
Campbell: I see. Okay, stay where you are for now, Snake. If you need to, you can contact me on Codec. The frequency is 140.85. When you want to use the Codec, push the select button. When we need to contact you, the Codec will beep. When you hear that noise, press the select button. The Codec’s receiver directly stimulates the small bones of your ear. No one but you will be able to hear it.
Snake: Got it. Okay, I’m ready to vote.
*boop*
Be sure to cast your votes in the poll below; but first, let’s check out the box art designs themselves.
North America
*beep beep, beep beep*
Snake: Colonel, I’m in front of the North American box art.
Campbell: Excellent, Snake. Age hasn’t slowed you down one bit. Now what do you see?
Snake: I see, uhh… me.
Campbell: Are you sure this isn’t another clone of Big Boss?
Snake: No, this is me. I look far too handsome to be anyone else. Looking at the design, it appears to have been drawn by an artist known as Yoji Shinkawa. He’s captured my features pretty well; maybe his skills have been boosted by nanomachines.
Campbell: Could be. I like this design too, but we need to see the others to make an informed decision.
Snake: Got it.
*boop*
Europe
*beep beep, beep beep*
Liquid Snake: BROTHERRRRRR!
Snake: Liquid!
Liquid Snake: It’s been too long, brother! I just happened to drop in; I wanted to share my thoughts on this particular design here from Europe. I must say, despite it showcasing a clearly inferior clone of Big Boss, I rather like it, all told! Who’s that woman with you though?
Snake: Sergeant Christine Jenner. ‘Chris’ for short. She helped me out during the Galuade incident in Metal Gear: Ghost Babel.
Liquid Snake: Ghost Babel? Ridiculous – is that even canon?
Snake: No, but I wouldn’t expect you to understand anyway. It was made for a system called the Game Boy Color.
Liquid Snake: Very interesting Snake, but have I ever told you about the ‘Les Infants Terribles’ project?
Snake: I’m going.
Liquid Snake: Not yet, Snake! It’s not over yet!
Snake: I’m gone.
Liquid: Wait-
*boop*
Japan
*beep beep, beep beep*
Campbell: I hear it’s amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
Snake: What..? Colonel, are you okay?
*boop*
*beep beep, beep beep*
Campbell: An anemone or clematis plant’s juice can cause a rash. When pruning them, its a good idea to wear gloves.
Snake: Colonel, snap out of it!
*boop*
*beep beep, beep beep*
Campbell: Raiden, something happened to me last Thursday when I was driving home. I had a couple of miles to go; I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky, to the east! It was moving very irregularly… Suddenly there was intense light all around me, and when I came to, I was home. What do you think happened to me?
Snake: RAIDEN ISN’T HERE!
*boop*
*beep beep, beep beep*
Snake: Go away, Colonel. Everybody out there, make sure you vote for your favourite box art and get me out of here!
*boop*
Thanks for taking part in Box Art Brawl once again, and to all our friends in the States, have a great Labor Day!
Thanks for voting! We’ll see you next time for another round of the Box Art Brawl.
