90 Day Fiancé Gamer is a Runescape and Blue Balls expert

Confession time: When I need a break from video games, my go-to food is the trashiest reality TV there is. My knowledge about Real Housewives And Vanderpump Rules The tradition may go even deeper than that of Final Fantasy or Yakuza. So you can imagine my delight when I found out it was one of the newest cast members on TLC 90 Day Fiancé is not just a gamer but a hardcore gamer.

I just discovered this thanks to a recent article GamesRadar Piece, but Kentucky native Clayton Clark has already been on the show’s tenth season for several months. (It began airing in November 2023.) But if you’re a fan of Old school runic landscapethe 2007 MMORPG from Jagex that has been seen a remarkable surge in popularity

In recent years, you probably know Clayton for a very different reason –He is one of the world’s best players and has dedicated more than 20,000 hours to the ga me. Among his numerous successes in OSRS, Clayton is the highest ranked Magic user in the game. Accordingly GamesRadarThis means that he is “the first to reach 200 million experience in this skill – about 187 million XP more than it takes to actually reach the maximum level of 99.” Neat!

The current season of 90 Day Fiancé (which streams on Max and Discovery+) follows the budding romance between Clayton and his Peruvian bride-to-be, Anali. As usual, the show’s producers and editors have taken utmost care to highlight everything unpleasant and unpleasant about this romance. And while the editors seem to be exploiting the whole “anti-social gamer idiot” trope with all their might, it becomes clear pretty early on that the joy of video games is perhaps the most likable thing about this guy.

In an elegantly captioned clip from the official 90 Day Fiancé

Youtube channel, Anali gives Clayton Blue Balls!, our unfortunate player, tries to seduce his best friend in her hotel room by lying provocatively across her bed. “Maybe he thought he looked like a model, but to me he looked like a cow stretched out,” Anali remembers.

From there, things take a sharp turn into blood-curdling embarrassment as Clayton gives Anali a massage and then gives an outrageous smooch in front of the camera. She says she wants to go to sleep. I’d rather jump out the window in this scenario, but to each their own.

In a confessional immediately following this horrific interlude, Clayton takes it upon himself to explain to Anali what blue balls are. (No, she didn’t ask.) It begins in Spanish: “When a man is willing to have babies…” Reader, if the massage made me want to jump out the window, then this made me want to Awakened desire to jump out of my skin. After screaming internally for several moments, Anali boldly says, “That’s gross,” and laughs it off. It’s not too late for you, sweetie!

During a dinner for two, Clayton complains to a server about his non-existent sex life while ordering a margarita flight. When Anali is visibly annoyed by this but doesn’t say anything, Clayton jokes: “What’s she going to do?” Aren’t you having sex with me?” The other man plays along a little more than he should as the women exchange ideas Can you believe these idiots? Looks. Meanwhile, Clayton continues to dig himself into a hole. Later, Anali astutely points out that the double date feels less like a “fun moment” and more like a passive-aggressive way for Clayton to criticize her.

I’m all for upending lazy, outdated stereotypes about socially inept gamers who need to touch grass. But there’s no denying that this is a captivating thriller at its finest. I guess I’ll increase my (HBO) Max subscription again.

Oh, did I mention this guy’s mother? sleeps in his closet? Yes.