Steam reviews of Kingdom Hearts wage war against the Epic Games Store

Sora, Donald, Goofy, Mickey and Minnie are full of quotes from Steam user reviews.

Picture: Square Enix / Kotaku

Kingdom Hearts Fans waited nearly 20 years for Sora, Donald and Goofy’s adventures through Disney worlds to come to PC, which they finally did in 2021 via the Epic Games Store. But some fans waited even longer for the majority of the series coming to Steam on June 13th. Whatever comes to mind, PC gamers. Use your launcher of choice to watch Sora evolve from a bright-eyed child to a bright-eyed young adult who has seen horrors beyond his imagination. The funny thing is, though, that Kingdom Hearts Fans (and probably haters) now have a new forum to express their love and other feelings for Square Enix’s Disney / Final Fantasy Crossover: Steam user reviews.

Given the 22-year history of the series Kingdom Hearts has spawned memes, gags, bloopers, and of course, hellish debates for decades. Steam’s user reviews for the three bundles Square Enix has listed on the digital store are full of them, as are people warning potential buyers about potential technical issues that could arise with the ports. Many of the user reviews also let people know that they’re glad to finally have these games on Steam instead of the Epic Games Store, and were willing to wait literally years to play them Kingdom Hearts on PC if it meant they didn’t have to use Epic’s launcher. Patience is a virtue. Fans waited over a decade for Kingdom Hearts IIIso what’s three years to get almost every game in the series on Steam?

Ultimately, the best reviews are those that use ASCII art to recreate the iconic image of Disney’s own Michael Theodore Mouse in Organization XIII garb, attacking a room full of unsuspecting Final Fantasy and Disney characters when they talk about the door to darkness. Kudos to the numerous users who did this to capture the moment in Internet history with which Kingdom Hearts is most connected. Here are some of the Kingdom Hearts‘ best Steam user reviews.

Read a Steam review "Donald, just be yourself, I beg you."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "We did it, the absolute best franchise in the world is on Steam. Now I can fully enjoy Donald not healing me on my Steam Deck."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "CLIMB ON THE BACK OF THE HYDRA."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "Q for all the diehard Kingdom Hearts fans who succumbed and bought the games on EGS because they thought the Steam announcement was dead."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "AFTER 3 YEARS IT'S FINALLY HERE, FUCK EPIC STORE."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "I've been having these weird thoughts lately, like whether Kingdom Hearts is really on Steam or not."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "X Day 1 of purchase at Epic. [checkmark] Wait 1171 days to buy it on Steam."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "Over 10 years of experience and I still get lost in wonderland and the deep jungle."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "Hey guys, did anyone mention the door to darkness?" with ASCII art by Mickey.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review featuring block art of a Heartless.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU WON'T HEAR ME SAYING: PLEEEEEEEEE, OH BABYEEEEEE"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "This game is the only thing that keeps me going at the moment"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "I know no one is going to read this review, so for every like this review gets, I will eat a tablespoon of mayonnaise."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "This was irrefutable proof that we had you Lamers (EGS) completely under control."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "that made me depressed."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "We've waited 3 years, 2 months and 14 days for this moment. The joke's on you, Epic!"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "“Hey buddy! Be careful the darkness doesn’t take you!”" - Probably Mickey Mouse.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

Read a Steam review "The opening credits of Kingdom Hearts 1 must be taught in every film school."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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