I Love Myself For Trying To Name My Island Crossing

It is important, in these trying times, to take it for granted. That voice of self-criticism constantly ringing in your head? Smash it down. Unfortunately, I am a great destroyer who cannot follow my advice. Case in point: I've spent the better part of three days (and counting) trying to get my name out Animal Crossing island.

I didn't expect that to be this issue. Like everyone else, I boarded a game plane, landed on an island, picked up Tom Nook's sticks and fruit, and tried to combine them into an obsolete guillotine that would give him the right citrus finish (when that didn't work, I gave him sticks and fruit just the way he had asked me). Afterwards, as part of the never-ending celebration that the Nooks, myself and two neighbors, were the only ones on the “deserted” island, Tom Nook asked me to name the island. I faint. The game has informed me that I cannot change the name. I loathe more. I was traveling at high speed through a half-dozen word shows in my head. They were all trash. Finally, I put my switch in sleep mode and determined to come back to it the next day.

The next day did not get any better. I tried to be comfortable and kind of relaxed about it, dabbling in punchy puns that dealt with everything from other video games to political tarantulas. They were all bad. I would hesitate to engage any of them here, but suffice it to say that "Bidensux" – a middle and upper middle class comedy "GOT & # 39; EM" – was one of the attendees the best one. So I decided to try a different approach: Instead of thinking mentally until something came up for me, I poured out a list of Animal Crossing ideas for adding a word to a topic. Seriously, I just come up with anti-Nook jokes, but those are already old hat. I knew I could do better. But maybe I was wrong because now it is today, and I never had a favorite name!

I'm going to try to decorate my house in New Horizons, and I'll just be open to it, like an empty wall of spaghetti stuffed I can't remember ever fixing myself with an ineffective bed that killed a lot of people.

I named it Animal Crossing cities before, in the beginning Animal Crossing on Gamecube and Animal Crossing: Animal World on the Nintendo DS. I've named other things, too. I'm not a particular coward, for example, that allows all Pokémon to keep their default names. I name little creatures in sharp colors, without worrying about what the future holds. In Pokémon Shield, I called the name Yamper “Sausage Lad.” It turned out to be a big dog that was nothing like a sausage. This shy gaffe did nothing to shake my decision. Last week, I started Dragon Quest XI, and I named my hero “BöneChürch.”

But this is different – not because Crossing the Animals: New Horizons but because of what it stands for. Many of my friends saw it as a de facto hangout during the social divide. My island is the first footprint that I prioritize in all social networks for the near future. It's in my living room or in my yard or in my dress, or a combination of everything. It's my appearance at a time when I let my original look go shit. It is the removal of the inner qualities that I most want to see the world.

I know what you're thinking: Who cares about the name? Just create a cool inter-game space to create it for you. The good news: I'm bad at interior design. My virtual living room is a hygienic space containing my bed and my work desk. Decorating my old place has been a bunch of clothes and half a bad red chair that I never ended up putting together because Amazon sent me the wrong parts. These days, I have three furnishings in small houses. I'm pretty sure at least one of them has been dead for two years. I still give him a drink.

The point is, I will try to decorate my house New Horizons, and I'll just blow the wind away, like the empty walls lined with spaghetti I can't remember ever repairing with a malfunctioning bed that kills several lives. My island name should be perfect – it's best Animal Crossing history – to make an exciting disaster looming. Words are one thing I'm good at. I can recover my island, and I won't rest until I can do so.

Anyway, I can't wait for you all to visit * the scanner list * —not “Weeb Central” in the coming days.

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