Hello Xbox players! I’m Judith Radnitz, Game Producer on the Coffee Stain North development team, to say the least Goat Simulator 3 is now available to play on Xbox Series X|S! Check out our launch trailer above.
Someone left the gate open and Pilgor is free! So now is the time for us humble developers to kindly ask you, please buy our game?
If you’re still undecided about giving your hard-earned cash to a company that spent five years making a stupid game about goats, don’t think twice – just destroy that fence and buy it.
However, if you’re really the type of person who still needs “reasons” to buy this game, here are five that will hopefully make you whimper.
It has goats…
Who would have thought?
Goat Simulator 3 is ultimately the only game series in existence that lets you live out your wildest goat dreams.
Hop into the hooves of our protagonist and resident disaster wreaker, Pilgor, to headbutt, slide and crash across the massive new island of San Angora.
Roam the wilds of the map and complete events to discover and don more than 350 cosmetics from hoof to horn. While some of our cosmetics are purely for looks, many have special stacking powers that you can then unleash on unsuspecting NPCs, other players, or inanimate objects (whatever levitates your goat).
Honestly, this is our game’s biggest selling point. We just really love goats and if you do too then this is the game for you.
cause havoc…
In the real world, there are stupid things like natural laws, real consequences, and fines for property damage. In San Angora, the world is yours to bend to your will – or push it to pieces.
Play around with status effects ranging from fire and electricity to fat excreted by pigs to cause chain reactions in your wake.
Certain collectibles grant you unlimited abilities. Want to make an NPC’s head as big as the moon? Or plant your own forest in the game? We’ve given you the tools to do it… who cares about frame rates?
destroying friendships…
While you can experience Goat Simulator 3 alone, jokes are always better when shared with friends.
Goat Simulator 3 supports co-op for up to 4 players, either online or local, and includes seven competitive mini-games to test the limits of your friendships.
“How do the mini-games work?” we hear you ask. We’ve designed areas on the map to show off the mechanics of each minigame, but once you’ve “found” them in the world, you and your friends can seamlessly launch them from anywhere on the map via the in-game menu.
Want to start a hoofball game in town? You can! Some goalposts might end up on top of a skyscraper, but hey, that’s part of the fun, right?
There are secrets to be discovered…
We don’t want to spoil anything here because we are not monsters. But there is more content in there Goat Simulator 3 when you’re good at… shaking. The world is full of things to see, puzzles to solve, and collectibles to be found – all with surprising results.
There might be a few nods to other famous movies, games, and brands to discover, too, but we don’t want anyone suing us or sending us a cease and desist letter… so shhhhh.
While technically you can play around in the world of Goat Simulator 3 Indefinitely, we’ve been building goat towers around the map that track the player’s progress. the more you do Goat Simulator 3, like finding collectibles or completing in-game events, the closer you get to unlocking the official “Ending”. But that, my friends, you must find out for yourself.
It has goats…
Oh no, we already said that, right?
Well, here’s another taste of what to expect in the world of Goat Simulator 3. And if you need even more persuasion, just know that every time someone buys Goat Simulator 3a Coffee Stain North developer gets paid (what else did you think would happen?).
Goat Simulator 3 – Digital Downgrade Edition
Coffee Stain Publishing AB
$39.99
Pilgor’s baaack! Gather your herd and venture into Goat Simulator 3; a brand new, totally realistic sandbox courtyard experience. Invite up to three friends in local or online co-op, wage mayhem as a team, or compete in mini-games, and then stop being friends. The Digital Downgrade Edition includes the base game as well as unique remastered junk from Goat Simulator DLC throughout the story and a few hot new additions: Remastered junk: – Play as an old-school Pilgor – Full Tank Armor (MMO) – Goat Zero skin (GoatZ ) – Space Helmet and Suit (Waste of Space) – Don Pastrami, Valentino Salami, Dolph Spaghetti & Humphrey Ciabatta Masks (Payday) – Digital Soundtrack – 3D Print Files: – Pilgor – Tony Shark – Goat Tower – Trinket DISCLAIMER: Goat Simulator 3 is another completely stupid game. Will this game teach you how to become one with your local flock? Probably not. Learning about real goats with David Attenborough or something like that would be absolutely wiser.
Goat Simulator 3
Coffee Stain Publishing AB
$29.99
Pilgor’s baaack! Gather your herd and venture into Goat Simulator 3; A brand new, totally realistic sandbox farm experience that puts you back in the hooves of nobody’s favorite protagonist. That’s right – we’ll do it again. The Baa has been raised and Pilgor is also accompanied by other goats. You can invite up to three friends in local or online co-op, wreak havoc as a team, or compete in mini-games and then stop being friends. Get ready for another round of udder mayhem. Lick, poke and ruin your way through a brand new open world in the greatest time waster since Goat Simulator! We’re not going to tell you how to play (except in the tutorial), we’re just providing you with the means to be the goat of your dreams. KEY FEATURES: – You can be a goat – Three of your friends can also be goats and join you in local or online co-op – No really, there are that many goats. If you want to be chic, you can wear the skins of big goats, striped goats and many more. There’s a goat for everyone! – Or dress up your goat in all sorts of nonsense, from toilet paper rolls to tea trays. Jetpack on anything we care about – This time we actually hired “game designers” and were told they added “a good amount of content”; Events, NPCs to play around with, physics, status effects, collectibles, easter eggs, lies, betrayal, heartbreak – they also added minigames, tons of minigames (seven is a lot, right?) – who said what? about a musical? – You can be Keanu Ree… (jk, wanted to check if you were still reading) – But you can be a goldfish (true story) DISCLAIMER: Goat Simulator 3 is another completely stupid game. Will this game teach you how to become one with your local flock? Probably not. Learning about real goats with David Attenborough or something would be far wiser.
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