Steve Jobs' personal story offers us a vision beyond “traditional” parenting. He's been through so much total absence as unconditional love. While his biological father remained a stranger who served him food at his restaurant, his adoptive parents (Paul and Clara Jobs) formed a bond with him that lasted a lifetime.
One of the most telling anecdotes about good parenting can be found in Jobs' childhood. When Steve was around 10 years oldhis father Paul taught him how to build a fence around his garden. He explained the importance of building the back part of the fence, which no one will see, with the same care as the front part. “No one will see that it is well done, but you will know that it is,” Paul told him. This dual behavior among parents helps us to better understand in a practical way what, according to experts, keeps parents and children together throughout life.
They respect privacy by calling before entering
According to the Pew Research Center, parents who establish clear boundaries around personal space They strengthen their family ties. Paul Jobs understood this from the start: when young Steve became interested in technology, he gave him part of the garage for his experiments. It wasn't just a physical space, it was a message of respect and trust. This lesson about privacy and boundaries is especially relevant as children reach adolescence.
They have reasonable expectations for their children's success.
All good parents want their children to go far, but judge their “work” based on unrealistic expectations are counterproductive. Jobs' adoptive parents demonstrated this when he decided to drop out of school: although worried, they respected his decision and continued to support him. Experts confirm that success should focus more on effort than specific goals like an A or a certain career.
They only share advice if asked.
This should be a vital sentence for all human beings, because there are too many advisors in life. Family therapist Sarah Epstein says in Psychology today this unsolicited advice “often subtly sabotages healthy conversations and connections.” Jobs' story shows us two sides of this coin: while his adoptive parents gave him the space to make his own decisions, his biological father never dared approach him. He was paralyzed by what he called his “Syrian pride,” missing the opportunity to form any connection.
Accept all emotions
It is essential that parents accept the full range of emotions what their children are experiencing, from anger to happiness. When Jobs decided to search for his biological parents in 1986, Paul and Clara Jobs not only accepted his mixed feelings, but also supported him on this emotional journey. As Harvard University explains, if we want our children to be more emotionally intelligent, we need to communicate with them in an emotionally intelligent way.
They respect the autonomy and decisions of their children
As psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein says, for some parents it seems impossible to step back and respect their children's decisions, but the foundation of an intimate connection and a healthy relationship is respect. Adoptive parents are a perfect example: They respected decisions as important as leaving university or search for their biological parents. My mother always says that I wish we would learn before we make mistakes, but we learn the most by making mistakes.
Steve Jobs assembles one of the first Apple computers
They're his parents, not his friends.
Psychology expert Peg Streep is clear: “It is possible to have a close bond between parents and adult children without crossing into friendship territory.” Paul and Clara Jobs never tried to be Steve's best friends; They were something more important: they were his parents. They taught him fundamental valueslike when Paul showed him the importance of doing well even what no one sees, by building a fence in the garden. This lesson transcended simple carpentry and became one of the founding principles that Jobs would later apply at Apple.
Steve Jobs and one of his children
The story of Steve Jobs, with his two very different parenting experiences, reminds us that effective parenting is not about perfection, but about presence, unconditional respect and support. While one parent remained a stranger, the others built a relationship that defined their lives through these five fundamental habits. As parents, we cannot protect our children from all of life's challenges, but we can do it.create a safe space where they can growmake mistakes and learn, maintaining a bond that lasts forever.
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