The bad news was confirmed months ago. He E3, the legendary video game fair, has died and we will never again enjoy the great event where companies met once a year. Los Angeles welcomed corporations with great expectation and their presentations in which they showed their future projects with which to conquer the public.
Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, EA, Ubisoft and a very extensive list of companies had their own shows prepared, but none has ever lived up to the hype. absurdity that Konami perpetrated in 2010. The Japanese brand marked an exhibition of involuntary humor that has remained in the annals of E3 history and it is time to remember it during these very special dates.
Swampy beginnings
Perhaps the least memorable sequence of events is the initial one, but that does not mean that there are no moments to highlight. It all started on June 16, 2010 with David Daniels, head of Konami’s marketing department in the United States, making a small presentation. In it he explains that any sound made by the public will be transmitted over the Internet, so recommends that they be silent. What he could not foresee is that this would be the general trend.
A CGI cinematic shows some of the titles and releases that will be present during the conference and it is the turn of Shinji Hirano, president of Konami. Nothing out of the ordinary, but the first mistake comes when a sign appears. Glee Karaoke Revolution on screen (minute 6:50) and nothing else happens. The lights go out, not a fly is heard and for a couple of minutes no one manages to continue with the event. “Can we play the trailer, please?”, you can hear a presenter clearly distressed by the situation.
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk and Kanye West interrupts the silence for a moment in a thunderous way and nothing continues without making any sense. “It’s so good that they keep you waiting on the edge of your seat,” emphasizes the presenter, not knowing what else to say, until at minute 8:20 David Daniels, CEO of 4MM Games and developer of Def Jam Rapstar. Glee Karaoke Revolution It disappears from the equation, for now, and the creative begins to relate the benefits of his work.
May the rhythm not stop
For eight long minutes, Daniels and studio founder Russell Simmons try to keep the audience’s interest by chatting without any visual support. It is not until minute 16:40 when a Konami member finally gets the corresponding video right and they show a trailer for Def Jam Rapstar. However, the best of all is yet to come. It’s time to Lucha Libre AAA: Heroes of the Ring presented by Federico Bayer, director of the Slang publishing house.
The video game was only released in Mexico for PS3, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS and Wii and the idea behind the title was to represent the rawness of wrestling in first person. To do this, Bayer arrived at minute 19:55 on the stage alongside three actors dressed as fighters and a championship belt on his right shoulder. He announces that a tournament throughout E3 to determine the game’s cover and the Mexican network Televisa will broadcast it on television.
He raises the belt, face down, so that everyone can see the reward for the winner, but not content with that, he proceeds to weigh the participants. The Chosen One, the Grim Reaper and Silver King are the three fighters who proceed to take off their tunics and show off their muscles on a stage that cannot withstand any more shame. In a poor attempt to get the public’s attention, while the Grim Reaper is weighed down, the other two begin to beat each other in a very crude way.
Both are interrupted by a video (minute 23:05) in which Wagner, the mega champion, can be seen warning them that he is the real threat. It doesn’t matter, because the skull trio returns to their old ways and they fight each other, intimidate poor Federico and abandon the gaze of the people without any kind of blush for what happened.
Japan takes action
Absolutely no one will remember Zombie Studios producer John Williamson’s talk about Saw II: Flesh & Blood, but at least he was able to go home with his dignity intact. He was the only one who did not screw up at any time, unlike Tak Fujii, who presented Ninety-Nine Nights II at minute 28:50. In a regrettable attempt to be funny, the Japanese creative irrigated his participation at the lectern with gestures and jokes that tried to make those present laugh.
“More than a million soldiers. More than a million soldiers. (Puts hand on ear) Woooow,” Fujii said, forcing the audience to react. The staging of him with his arms outstretched holding the lectern is outrageous, since he seems very comfortable with his performance, but the embarrassment of others was the prevailing sensation in the room. Otomedius Excellent It is the next title to be shown and it passes without pain or glory, but the show must rise again thanks to Naoki Maeda.
At minute 41:08 the producer of Dance Dance Revolution, along with Thomas Nagano, and the two begin to talk with overflowing passion about the dance franchise. So much so that they both dare to perform a spectacular choreography, behind the public’s back, with which they have no problem performing movements on the floor. In addition, as if that were not enough, they still have time to throw jabs at Just Dance with their breathing labored by the dancing effort.
Glee Karaoke Revolution He returns, this time, to the stage and does so accompanied by a student choir singing Somebody to Love at the top of his lungs at minute 50:13. The dance is well timed, but the space is too small for a couple of dozen people to perform it with ease and for it to look good.
Monotony turn
Hudson Entertainment’s Mike Pepe doesn’t seem too excited about introducing BeyBlade Metal Fusion y DecaSports 3. The person in charge begins his intervention at minute 55:24 in the most anodyne way possible, reading like a robot the script shown to him on the teleprompter. From its passage without pain or glory we jump to the appearance of producer Devin Shatsky and developer Brian Gomez at minute 1:03:03 to show us what’s new about Silent Hill.
For a few eternal seconds, Shatsky stands right behind Gomez as he speaks and gives him a penetrating look. The meme has already been created, since the face of the person responsible is typical of a psychopath planning his next move. At this point nothing can surprise viewers, not even when producer Shinta Nogiri appears at minute 1:09:45 to talk about NeverDead. He is not the surprise, but Nagano’s return in a trench coat that would scare anyone he passed at night.
His head detaches from his neck in a fairly well-executed magic trick, but ruined, once again, by how forced the dialogue between Nogiri and him is. It is the latest example of a disastrous night that is replenished with the presentations of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow and it all ends with the return of Konami president, Shinji Hirano.
With a smile of satisfaction for a job well done, he concludes a conference that has been classified as the biggest ridiculousness ever witnessed in the history of E3. Now, with the formalities of the Summer Game Fest and the careful presentations of the State of Play, Xbox Showcase or Nintendo Direct on duty, these fantasies become part of the past.
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