Knuckles follows a long tradition of confusing video game adaptations, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing

I don’t think any of us saw it coming, but now it looks like a video game adaptation might be a good idea. Not perfect, but certainly polished enough that you won’t necessarily be embarrassed to say you’ve seen it, or get weird looks when you try to explain what it’s about.

Illumination’s Mario movies were beautiful and made a lot of money; the Sonic movies were actually fun despite the initial “ugly Sonic” roadblock; and everyone’s been raving about the Fallout series lately – Even I, a non-Fallout fan, loved it.Gone are the days of the original 1993 super mario bros. Never again will we see a cast as strange as Jean-Claude Van Damme’s all-American Guile in live-action. street fighter Movie.

However, last week Paramount Decided to remind us how bad things can get after launch Knuckle to the world. Our very own Dom describes it as a fever dream, and for better or worse, I think that’s definitely an accurate description. More importantly, it feels like an unexpected throwback to the campy video game movies of the ’90s, which were really, really bad and a little incomprehensible.

Let’s take the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie as an example. Every choice in that movie resulted in a tension headache like nothing I’ve ever felt. Yes, I know the Mario series is technically isekai, but in this version of events, what do you mean? The world split into two different dimensions after being hit by a meteorite, one in which dinosaurs survived and evolved into a humanoid race and live in Mad Max Wasteland, an alternate reality to our own? Wait, there’s a dance number to Was (Not Was)’s “Walk the Dinosaur”? You can understand why headaches occur.

Now, to be clear, despite a lot of things, I actually kind of like the Mario Bros. movie precisely because it’s so ridiculous. The absurdity of it all gives it an elusive charm that’s also reflected in the Street Fighter movies (which, I remind you, has one of the most chilling lines ever put on the big screen).

The knuckles were also ridiculous and confusing in some ways, again feeling like too many cooks might ruin the broth. It felt like at some point someone said “Look, we don’t have the budget to animate all six episodes of Knuckles, so how about you make the bumbling cop the main character and we’ll add a musical puppet and Ben… Schwartz cameo?”

I’m not kidding about that musical number, seriously, that’s basically the entire fourth episode. As a creative choice, this was so bafflingly weird that it caused my partner and I to constantly look at each other and desperately exclaim “What’s going on?” What’s even weirder is that this is totally Knuckles backstory! The key is how he discovers his power! I don’t think it would necessarily be better if shown straight, the actual events weren’t that interesting, but I still can’t believe something like that was delivered in such a way. It’s also a bit clogged, which is perhaps the worst/best part of all this.

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On top of that, the acting is mostly hammy, the story feels completely irrelevant, and Knuckles’ storyline is actually recited to you (and the Echidna himself) during the show’s climactic battle. You don’t see shit like this anymore and I don’t know how to look at it honestly. I have a deep love for really bad things, without a hint of irony, and Room is one of my favorite movies, so you can call me a contrarian if you want. But I’m happy, who cares!

Speaking of knuckles, though… I’m not so sure. Now, I don’t think I can rewatch it because I just don’t understand how it was made, and that’s enough to make me panic about the state of our creative industries. But at least Sonic 3 won’t be this bad, right? Regardless, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.