I’ve been told that I have a soft spot for “shit games.”From Crocodile: The Legend of Gobbs arrive Summoner, admittedly, my taste in old PlayStation games can be pretty mixed.People tell me that for Gox I should have seen my right to write the game revoked – there’s no way I’d know what I was doing if I had a soft spot for the sly platforming and questionable level of taste of the literal casual lizard.
I say to those people: I really hope we get a new Gex.
Some context; until recently, the Gex franchise was owned by Square Enix — the Japanese developer acquired Gex IP in 2009 when it bought developers Crystal Dynamics and Eidos Interactive (probably reluctantly).
So now, we’re actually more likely to see a new Gex game thanks to Embracer’s acquisition of a suite of Square Enix IP. The deal, announced Monday morning, was accompanied by a press release from the investment group that has name-checked a slew of titles (Tomb Raider, Deus Ex, Kane’s Legacy and Thief) but didn’t even look at it. One glance – for our nasty, nasty, green friend.
Frankly, it’s an outrage. The last Gex game – Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko on PlayStation, Game Boy Color and Nintendo 64 – landed in 1999. So for us Gex irons, it’s been 21 long years without a gecko. In a world where we’re launching new Sonic games, Mario is at the peak of its popularity, Crash Bandicoot is inexplicably getting a sequel, and platformers are generally enjoying a resurgence, shouldn’t we give Gex another chance at the spotlight?
It’s all too healthy these days; Sonic and pals are eco-friendly and cute, Mario walks around like he’s knocked down too many vamps, and even those Yooka-Laylee nerds laugh in their clean-cut cartoon world It’s a bit too much, I don’t like it. Isn’t it time for an arrogant, clever reptile to put these whiplash snappers in their place?
With so much prestige TV out there these days, Gex’s level designers will happily give the slimy little bastard something to satirize. Game of Thrones, Inheritance, Ted Russo, Stranger Things, Our Flag Means Death… We could see Gex infiltrating and wisely hacking a ton of themed worlds when we force He’d make glib little comments and talk to himself as he passed some gods – abandoned track shooting parts or something. Gex fun always sucks. Beavis and Butthead’s commentary on pop culture, all in a 6/10 package.
But hey, he’s hitting 15 million sales, it can’t just be me sitting there laughing like a meathead at his silly antics. We have dozens of people there. many! Given that Gex was originally conceived as a rival mascot for Crystal Dynamics, a erstwhile competitor to Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog, I think savvy developers can do some great things with Gex. It can even take him back to his 2D roots, giving us the smooth, sharp platform we crave – building on the foundation laid by modern Battletoads and really capitalizing on the wave of ’90s nostalgia that’s trending right now.
But who can we get Gex to voice? It must be a TV-related guy now, and a lot of the comedians of the ’90s…may not be the right fit anymore. My vote would go to Nick Kroll, maybe — maybe even H. Jon Benjamin…that could even open up some Bob’s Burgers and Archer themed worlds. Well.
Basically, what I’m saying is that there is a market for Gex right now. And the world is ripe for his own brand of non-color satire. Let’s go back to the golden age of irreverent platform mascots: Gex first, Jim the earthworm second. You know you want it.
