too much smoke and neon for so little fun

There are few more Spanish customs than arriving in a new city and saying: And where do you come out here? We can’t help it, we need to shake our skeleton and look for where to tip our elbows. Under the shelter of such a noble purpose, I have decided to do the same in the majestic Night City de Cyberpunk 2077.

I’ve barely turned a couple of corners since my adventure began, but I’ve already been able to see that there’s party wood in the stage created by CD Projekt Red. After all, a place that is dominated by neon signs is because people enjoy the darkness of the night more than the bright day.

one Love and I can not

Watson’s core, Little China. Within my possibilities and the absolute ignorance of the map, I think that I start among the top of Night City. Well paved streets, lots of people going from here to there and places that fill pedestrians with advertising. All this very much in line with my status of being a foodie.

Riot is my first destination and it is clear that I have hit the mark when I saw the epic tail that you have to swallow to enter. You know, if you’re one of those nerds who doesn’t have a VIP pass, there’s no aunt and she has to endure the cold night while everyone moves slowly. I think I’m cooler than anyone going straight to the goalkeeper and I end up with a resounding refusal. It turns out that the linnet ended up being me.

With failure assumed and my tail between my legs, I decide that the next objective is the nearby street. I want to go on a movie spree, the kind that leaves you with such a hangover that makes you swear by your mother that you will never taste whiskey in a vase of poppies again. Gomorrah, El Guapo are two new and exciting names for me that complement their offer with a sea of ​​insinuating public relations.

That if they can be whoever I want, that if they need someone to warm up… my senses begin to trigger even more when an entire building has as its letter of introduction a facade full of shop windows with go-go dancers. Men and women dancing in pool bars, posters that have forgotten the word discretion and I need to enter a place now. Once again, disappointment gives me a smack.

All very nice, shiny and promising to have as a result that can not be passed. All the doors are closed and in the end he stays in a museum dedicated to sex in which one looks, but does not touch. A lesson that will be repeated to me later, although it is time to go by car.

too much restraint

I haven’t scored any places in Kabuki and I’m getting carried away to get into The Ho-Oh. It’s three in the morning and it’s been a long time since I should have carried such a melopea with me that I couldn’t sustain myself. Much more classic in style, this place is much friendlier and the waiter asks me what I want in a honeyed voice. Evidently a good house liquor is going to pass through my gullet and my wallet and my liver are going to pay for it.

Apparently there’s a certain Jotaro inside, in a booth, and I should hunt him down, but leave me alone, I’m on my day off. I approach the central area and I see dealers, roulette, pachinkos and arcade like Hishou Panzer and Quadracer, but I can’t play anything. Can someone explain to me how one has fun in Cyberpunk 2077? I don’t want to shoot or hack anything, I just want to have fun even if it’s alone.

Neon sign with a +18, it is necessary to check what is brewing on the other side. Dance area with private rooms and without requesting a reservation. The fact that no one is there annoys me, that the service is not available annoys me, but what bothers me is seeing a guy enjoying his dance… with virtual reality glasses. If I haven’t misunderstood, Night City is an ode to sexual freedom, debauchery without prejudice and a paradise in which to share fluids. Despite that, there’s no fucking way to have an encounter with someone.

The one that I do find is the poor devil he’s having an LSD trip on the bathroom floor. I can’t do anything to help him, so I leave trusting that it’s my fault for not knowing how to find the right club. There can be nothing worse than this.

Better alone than in bad company

I have little more to try, so I open the map and see that there is a local to the north. For a bit of a change, this time I walk all the way to get to the North Industrial District, which lives up to its name. The more steps I take, the smaller the buildings and the more abandoned everything seems. I am entering Maelstrom domains.

They’re a bunch of bums who have brains enough to pay a quack to put all sorts of cybernetic implants in them. Oh, and his favorite hobby is blasting his subwoofers in the middle of the street, without a thought for the neighbours. It turns out that the disco is named after Totentanz and is at the top of a buildingbut the presentation is unfortunate. Groups of three and four people in the hall without a door, without finishing the work and playing the guitar lying on broken sofas.

Nothing to scratch here and it’s already five in the morning. I go up in the elevator, which takes its time and here there is a lot of atmosphere; deplorable, but plentiful. Tinnitus is the group that spits out more noise than anything else on stage, but they will have to settle. Safe zone, let me know Cyberpunk 2077 and it is good to see that there are spaces where hostilities disappear.

Of course, nothing frees me from the occasional insult from the waitress threatening to make my face a mosaic on the wall. After a deal that would scare away any client, I am awarded a bottle of chirrisco for 30 eurodollars and go to the dance floor. Well done CD Projekt, the dance button is a must, even if you go out at night alone like me. Of course, whatever goes in ends up coming out.

I’ve been in horrible bathrooms, but the Totentanz thing takes the cake. It is so disgusting that I will only say that people pee in bathtubs full of construction debris; It almost smells from the real world. The sun is starting to rise and it’s time to go, although first I hack the Maelstroms into a briefcase. For the moral damages caused.

Home Sweet Home

Leaving Totentanz I see a trail of corpses. Logic dictates that I approach to see what happens and what I find is a psycho desecrating another body. Spotting me, he jumps like a vermin at me and, despite having promised not to use direct violence, I am forced to shoot. I tickle him, so the only remedy is to run away. I don’t know who that guy is, but he has to keep going or I’ll be back for him.

The panorama back home is not very different from what you can find in the party area of ​​your city. People vomiting, vending machines offering weapons instead of snacks, police cordoning off dumpsters after finding a naked body, and a beggar holding a sign that reads “Aliens kidnapped my wife and kids, help me celebrate.” I would toast with you without hesitation, friend.

In Europe, the kebab at six in the morning is very common with which to regain strength before getting into the envelope. I find a seedy burger joint where I aspire to nothing better than processed food. On TV they are saying that the oceans are closed to commercial shipping because they are infested with submarines and booby traps. A character close to me warns another that he will give him the worst rating on a review website. In the end, Cyberpunk 2077 is not so different from the biggest party that could have hit me and so that you can see that I had a scandal, a photo as a souvenir.