We honestly thought that playing and love Nintendo’s 64-bit racer was a prerequisite for service aboard the USS Nintendo Life, but we checked the crew manual and, shockingly, it’s not mentioned once. Which must be like Alana and Somehow Jim managed to get through the academy and board without ever piloting the Blue Falcon around Mute City 1.
It’s time to address the stunning omission. Let’s get to know this month’s visiting team before heading to the observation deck for the report:
- Captain Gavin Lane – F-Zero X veteranN64 analog sticker
- Commander Ollie Reynolds – F-Zero X veteranBig Blue addict
- us Alana Hagues – F-Zero X to recruit“Please sir, can we slow down?”
- Ens. Jim Norman – F-Zero X to recruitHe just wants to own a Fire Stingray IRL
Gavin: Hello, team. Are we all present and correct?
Ollie: Yes, Captain.
Alana: Ready and willing, sir.
Jim: Is… is this thing on?
Gavin: It’s on, Ensign. Let’s continue. I would like to say before this conference that we are all colleagues here—friends even—so anything that may seem like rancor in the transcript is said with the utmost respect and love. Probably.
F-Zero X, then. A classic piece of interactive entertainment from 1998. Let’s start with the obvious question: How did you manage to get through the last two and a half decades without tasting its significant pleasures?
In a way, it makes sense why Nintendo didn’t properly review the series for so long; those older games border on racing perfection.
Alana: I honestly don’t know! I mean, since we missed it on the N64, and we didn’t even play F-Zero on the SNES until 2002 or ’03, the N64 version just passed me by. I was playing GX too, and at that point I was just… well, I didn’t want to shell out for X. It’s been on Switch Online for two years now, and more I haven’t had time to play it until now. I’m glad I managed to sneak into the team with that in my back pocket.
Gavin: Happy administrative oversight to all involved. What about you, Ensign Norman?
Jim: I have no excuse for not playing at the NSO for the last two years, sir. For those reading this, yes, I hang my head in shame. However, I have a pretty good reason why I missed it the first time: I wasn’t born.
Gavin: There’s no need to be ashamed – that’s why we’re here. And as for excuses, not having one isn’t bad. What about you, Commander Reynolds? Do you remember the first time you played this one?
Ollie: Vivid! I missed it after the original release, but picked it up around 2004 or 2005 after becoming hopelessly addicted to F-Zero GX on the GameCube; I had to go back and try the earlier titles. So F-Zero X was first on my list and, as expected, I became hopelessly addicted to it as well.
Gavin: They are incredibly addictive games once you get into the zone. X was my first, which probably clouds my judgment, but it feels refined in a way that no other entry does. More on that later. First, what did you expect before you played and did it meet those expectations? Ensign Hagues, if you please.
Alana: sir! I was expecting something between the SNES and GameCube games – an aggressive, fast-paced chaser. What I got he was that in a way, but something that actually required precision and mastery; tight controls and a real sense of speed. I didn’t expect to be as impressed as I am with how smooth the whole thing is even today. I can’t imagine what it was like to pick up F-Zero X back in 1998 and think, “Damn, this is a 3D runner.”
Gavin: Norman?
Jim: *clicking heels* I would echo a lot of what Alana said, sir. I think I was expecting things to be a bit more frantic – runners are often based on snap decisions and I was worried that things wouldn’t be as fast today. From the first loop-loop, I saw that I was very wrong. What a thrill to drive!
Gavin: Nintendo EAD stripped the visuals down to their bare essentials so that nothing would detract from that ‘Holy moly!’ What about you, Commander – does the game hold up to you in 2024 compared to your rosy memories?
Ollie: Oh, it absolutely is. Like you said, the visuals are pretty basic, all things considered, but this really allowed him to lean on that awesome sense of speed. You’re comparing it to the original Deletion on the PS1 — which, admittedly, is a bit older than F-Zero X — and the difference is night and day. In a way, it makes sense why Nintendo didn’t properly review the series for so long; those older games border on racing perfection.
Gavin: How did you discover the difficulty? I’m not ashamed to admit that my reaction time has decreased somewhat since the late 90s, which became apparent after running the game through NSO.
Jim: I was all over the place in the first few races. I’ve never been that good with runners, but generally I can, you know, stay on the track for a whole lap. It has a level of precision that I just wasn’t expecting – drifting, crashing, even cornering – which definitely took some time to get used to. Heck, even after playing most nights last week, I still can’t honestly say I’ve fully ‘got it’.
Alana: Drifting took me to the end for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m not using an N64 controller – does for the sake of – but it really threw me off a few later courses. But my first ‘oh my god’ moment happened at Sand Ocean, in the tube. At first I was like, “Ahhh, this is cool,” and then in first place on the third lap, I just went off the track. I completely forgot that I had to adjust again. It was pretty funny. I managed to win a few races, but the tricks on the different tracks certainly threw me for a loop and meant I had to approach each track a little differently.
I found that I liked the slightly higher speed with the Blue Falcon. I played with the acceleration, but it almost always did worse
Ollie: It definitely takes some getting used to; especially if you grew up playing such games Mario Kart where the difficulty really lies in the trial and error of the weapon system. I really like the balance with F-Zero though, how you have to watch your ship’s health while using the boost mechanic to get to first place. It’s a real thrill when you get to grips with the controls and a big part of what made it so addicting for me.
Gavin: If I may, what controllers did you use this time?
Jim: NSO N64 base, for me.
Alana: Manual, Hori split pads.
Ollie: Only in hand with Joy-Con; Unfortunately, I have yet to pick up the fancy NSO controllers.
Gavin: Very good, Norman. Hagues and Reynolds, talk to the armorer, they’ll set you up with the proper gear. I feel like nothing but a controller kit will work with this game — the accuracy of the N64 spindle analog stick is essential. I think it has to do with the (possibly imaginary) extra distance it gives from the pivot point which allows you to make the smallest changes to your racing line. It just feels right with a classic three-pronged pillow.
Speaking of tweaks, do you think anything could be improved if the game was released today?
Ollie: Not really. For what it is, it’s pretty much exactly what I need from a game like this. If I want something with better visuals, then F-Zero GX is there… Somewhere… But yeah, it’s fine as is.
Alana: I understand the stripped down visuals, but at first I had a really hard time even remembering the names of most of the courses! Tricks aside, there were a few songs that were barely distinguishable. But I think “prettier visuals” is a bit boring. Maybe, again, it’s because I’m not using the authentic kit, but the spin attack felt awkward. Maybe I was really bad at using it, but I felt it had little impact on other drivers, and sometimes it would disrupt my driving a bit. Easy to fix, but yeah, it wasn’t great to use.
Jim: Ugh, I have to disagree with that last one. Maybe it’s the NSO setup on a non-N64 controller, as you say, but I find the old wait-and-double-tap approach extremely satisfying. I can’t remember the names of most of the tracks either, but I was very happy to use it on the thin sections with no obstacles, especially on the first lap. As far as improvements go, I honestly think the only visual change I’d like would be to see more track in front of me. It’s not the case that it necessarily needs more detail, but it would be nice to know about some sharper angles a little earlier.
Gavin: Oddly, I’m somewhere in the middle right now as far as spin goes. I have great memories of destroying fools with it, as you said, Jim — thinning the pack and knocking my marked ‘RIVAL’ out of contention. But this time I found it challenging to connect with other runners. It probably takes more practice to regain my abilities.
One last thing before we wrap up: Have any of you messed around with your machine’s speed/acceleration settings?
Alana: Of course I did! I found I liked a bit more speed with the Blue Falcon. I’ve played with acceleration, but I’ve almost always been worse at it, so I just assumed I’m better at maintaining higher speed than building good speed.
Gavin: A valuable skill for any pilot. Reynolds?
Ollie: Yes, I am the same. Once you get past the first round and gain the boost ability, a slightly higher top speed is slightly better than a higher acceleration. Give me all the speed!
Gavin: Very good. Okay, it seems we’re all more or less in agreement – a pleasant outcome for this first mission together. Time to finish this report. Congratulations on your promotion, Lieutenant.
As usual, I will now relinquish command and one of today’s lower deckers will next take the chair as we continue to investigate the unusual new old games. Do you have anything in mind for next time, Hagues?
Alana: I will! And I think we’re going to go back a little further from the 64-bit days and relax in the jungle. How does a more precision based game with DK and Diddy in Donkey Kong Country sound?
Gavin: That sounds acceptable. I believe me and Reynolds somehow overlooked that, is that correct?
Ollie: Until relatively recently, yes! I’m looking forward to this. Let me know, Diddy!
Gavin: Very good. I’ll tell conn to start the calculations for the time reversal to the 16-bit era. Until then, all willingly. And well done.
F-Zero X – Recruit Report
| Promoted officer: | Lt. Alana Hagues | Lieutenant Jim Norman |
|---|---|---|
| The best part: | Cylindrical and semi-tubular courses | Literally any loop-loop |
| Worst: | Spinning! | “You have enhanced strength!” [Hmm. – Capt.] |
| Would you play again? | Probably, but more likely with friends | Eh, probably not [I can always keep this pip, you know. – Capt.] |
