In the magazine business, the back page is where you’ll find all the weird nonsense we can’t fit anywhere else. Some might call it “filler”; we prefer “an entire page for making terrible jokes tangentially related to the magazine’s content.”
We don’t have pages online, but we still love terrible jokes — so welcome to our semi-regular feature, The Back Page. Today we sit outside the cafe, put the cigarette case on the gingham tablecloth, light a nice smoke and compose an ode or two while drinking a little coffee…
You may not be aware, but April 17th is International Haiku Poetry Day. As the name suggests, this means you’re more likely to come across examples of this wonderfully concise form of poetry, and since its Japanese heritage dovetails nicely with Nintendo’s, we thought it would be a good idea to ask Nintendo Life readers to submit their own Nintendo-themed haiku for a celebratory finish.
The deadline came quickly, but a few of you wrote some real winners. Below you’ll find a handful of the best submissions, plus a few thoughts from our own Ollie Reynolds — check the quote boxes for his greatest ‘ku.
Missed out on immortalizing your verse as a website article? That’s what comments are for. Feel free to add your own compositions below if you get inspired and can’t help but express yourself in them three lines of five-seven-five syllables respectively.
Are you ready to relax with some short form? Let’s scroll…
First, Munchlax expresses an opinion.
Pilotwings Resort
Mario Wonder wins
I’m dying on this hill
Arm cannon ready
Visor set to combat mode
You’re going to lose, Ridley
With the first of several submissions, hippydave investigates the corruption of a recent article title.
Now Nintendo Life
Allows titles that say “ass”
The real fun begins
Phys he recalls the tension of encountering Pokémon.
Shiny appears
you forgot to save
joy and stress wash away
Balance plate installed
And my body is ready
Wait, how much do I weigh?
Here, CaleBoi25His determination is noted at the start of a Splatoon 3 match.
Fight the battle now
Now or never! Do your best
At the last minute.
hippydave returns with a familiar feeling.
Mushroom Kingdom blues
Someone kidnapped the princess
It feels like deja vu
Old CRT
A plumber with a red cap
The magic begins
CaleBoi25 applying for another quest.
Hero of the times
Seven years lost to fate
Found at the end of the journey.
Fish face Jenkins III it continues on the Zelda theme with a series of treasures that we will treasure together:
Zelda fights in Smash
In open heeled boots!
Not the safest choice
Well done, young hero
This spirit orb is now yours
Goddess, watch over him
Other cities are fine
But I love this quiet place
Lurelin is for me
Hestu tells me:
“Would you like some more room for the shield?”
No, I never block
Master Sword, wake up
Your battery can’t die now
I’m in an uphill battle
I’m too hurt
I think this is the end… What?
Thank you, Mipha’s Grace
And NL’s own Jim Norman couldn’t help but take inspiration from TOTK:
Give him your support
Or President Hudson falls
Sign me up, friend
Raising a strange stone
“Yahaha” comes from the earth
Get the rockets ready
A gamer at heart
And he captured many more of them
Thank you, Iwata
Diogmites considers the joys and tribulations of gaming.
Exciting challenges
I want to play forever
But my butt hurts
While we all wait for The Game That Shall Not Be Named™, CaleBoi25 get in the mood.
Trampled
Among the beetle warriors
The hollow knight fights
Oh no, a zombie
And I’m just Jill Sandwich
Lost in the mansion
This one from *checks notes* Ollie Reynolds notes the difficulty of finding a good main image for a Pokémon article:
I don’t have a decent clue
Well if you doubt it, Pikachu
Everything is better now
AJM59 thinks about the endless wait for official news about Nintendo’s next console. It’s missing a syllable in the middle line, but we like ‘lo’…
A patient waiting
Finally here, the Switch 2
And look, it’s fun
We are waiting for news
And we can’t think of a name
So why not Switch 2?
Fish face Jenkins III returns for an encore.
“That is me!” He said
I took him inside. “Here it is.”
Please just fix the leak
And finally, this from hippydave tickled us.
Nintendo haiku
Something about Mario
Is that good enough?
Many thanks to those of you who submitted entries, prizes for all! And indeed, those are the most valuable rewards we can offer—our love, respect, and admiration.
What do you mean you’d rather have eShop credit? damn it
Feel free to indulge your poetic skills in the comments. Throw in a kilo or two if you want to really impress us. No, there is no eShop credit up for grabs, just our love, respect and admiration. Happy Haiku Day everyone.
