Here’s a fun little exercise: When you think of Wii Sports, which sport do you think of first? For me, it’s Bowling. I got really good at lining up the ball just right to always get a strike, which is a far cry from my real-life bowling ability (which usually includes a lot of gutterballs). I only vaguely remember the others, although Tennis was quite fun until we learned the perils of flailing around in a relatively small living room.
But that’s not the case for everyone! Perhaps you enjoyed using the Nunchuk and the Wiimote together under the tutelage of Matt in Wii Boxing, or you like the sedate, focused game of Wii Golf. Or maybe you’re the only person in the world who thought Wii Baseball was a jolly good time!
Easy, right? The real answer is which is the worst Wii Sport. To paraphrase the beginning of Anna Kareninagood Wii Sports are all alike; each terrible Wii Sport is terrible in its own way — which is to say that we all have different reasons for hating the one that we do. Perhaps you think that Wii Tennis is an accident waiting to happen, or maybe Wii Bowling gave you Wii Elbow and you just cannot forgive it.
“But wait,” I hear you say — “what about Wii Sports Resort, the critically acclaimed yet vastly underappreciated sequel?” Yeah, alright, sure! It’s Friday, and that means there’s time to get into the weeds with this.
The 2009 follow-up to Wii Sports required the use of the Wii MotionPlus controller add-on, which added a whole new range of motion to the blocky remote, and therefore a ton of different sports, too. The only returning sports were Bowling and Golf, and the other ten sports — from Basketball to Frisbee Golf — were all new to the series. They were also pretty… weird. I mean, there was a dogfighting minigame. Who goes to a sports resort to shoot other people out of planes?
But again, everyone has their favourite sport, right? I’ve even split these into more categories, since some of the sports (like Air Sports and Frisbee) have different modes that I think are worth highlighting:
And just to keep things even… What’s the worst Wii Sports Resort game? Do you hate cycling, because it feels like work? Do you think that Dog Frisbee would be much better if it were Cat Frisbee? Or are you angry at Golf for being the world’s most boringest use of hundreds of acres of land? Vote in this poll to make it absolutely clear which sport is the worst sport, and maybe if enough of you vote, we can destroy that sport once and for all.
Now, time to play the best sport of all: Commenting! Head down into the depths below this article to give us either your best sermon on why [YOUR SPORT OF CHOICE] is the most fun, or your most unhinged rant on why [YOUR SPORT OF CHOICE] is an abomination and an insult to the world of organised motion-based exercise.
And tell us: Will you be getting Nintendo Switch Sports, too? Or have your muscles and bones become too brittle and weak in the 16 years since Wii Sports came out? Yeah, same. At least Boxing Matt will stay forever young.