Clauncher sucks on swimming but grabs a powerful water pistol

Illustration for article titled Clauncher sucks on swimming but grabs a powerful water gun

image:: The Pokemon Company / Kotaku

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a lot Pokémon, but I enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So here’s another Pokemon! It’s Clauncher!

Clauncher details

Type: water

Average Height: 1 ’08 “

Average weight: 18.3 lbs.

First added in Generation VI


The Pokemon universe is a cruel place. For example there is Clauncher. This is a lobster-like Pokémon that spends most of its life in the water. But despite being an aquatic creature that depends on swimming, it has a huge claw that makes it difficult to keep balance. As a result, it sucks on swimming and instead relies on a powerful water gun that it developed in this claw to get around the world.

On my great journey of cataloging and writing about every Pokémon, I keep coming across types of water that suck while swimming. Imagine if half of our seals and whales couldn’t swim properly. That would be crazy. However, this seems to be quite common in the Pokemon world. According to Bulbapedia, Clauncher is really unlucky. Not only does it have a giant claw that is out of balance and interfering with its ability to swim, but this claw is also reputed to be delicious.

So you have a water pokemon that doesn’t swim particularly well because of a giant claw that is also super yummy, which means it is hunted by humans and pokemon for this cute, cute, tender claw meat. Life is cruel and Clauncher knows it all too well.

Fortunately, it’s not all bad news. This big claw can somehow shoot down powerful currents of pressurized water that Clauncher uses as a weapon because it naturally does. What else would you do with it? This water cannon is so powerful that it can even smash stones at close range. I suppose when Clauncher shoots people who are trying to eat it, it yells, “Try to eat me now, assholes!”

Random facts

  • Sometimes it’s claws just fall off! This is only mentioned when sharing Bulbapedia, but I bet it’s not a fun time for Clauncher. What if one day you woke up with no hands? You’d be a little worried I’d bet.
  • According to some Pokedex entries, it shoots water from its claw by “detonating gas that builds up in it.” What? But … how … what?
  • It’s blue I don’t know I’m still stuck with this poor lobster losing its claws and also containing explosive gas. I’m so stuck that I almost forgot to get involved with the name. Clauncher. You just added C to the word starter. Come on.

Best comment from last week

“Psh, are we to believe that a ground-type Pokémon likes to roll around in mud that contains water for which the ground-type is notoriously weak? Madness!”

-alt165

That’s what they want you to believe. They want you to get involved, trust them and their lies. The MAN has all the power. And if you are SHEEP and you buy those terrible lies you deserve to live in ignorance. Follow me on YouTube for more content like this.

Before that, here’s another Pokémon


Here’s another Pokemon is a weekly look inside a Pokemon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is, and why. Catch new entries every weekend and Click here to see all of the past Pokémon we’ve covered.

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