It’s not bold to say that Colin Farrell is an attractive man (check him out Terrible night or MiamiVice or Alexander), but it’s bold to say Colin Farrell is set to star as The Penguin in 2022 The Batman is attractive. He is covered in prosthetics, loses his hair, and has an overall somber demeanor that makes Farrell’s natural sexuality difficult to remember. But newly released set photos from the upcoming HBO Max series The Penguin unveils a new look for Oswald Cobblepot, and it’s called molto, molto bene. This is Italian coded sexuality (Cobblepot is of Austro-Hungarian descent, I believe, so not Strictly speaking Italian). That’s not daddy, that’s papa.
Sure, the hair lasts for a lifetime, and the prosthetics still try to make Farrell look significantly more penguin-like, but it’s a far cry from The Penguin’s looks The Batmanwho were all suits and trench coats. This fit gives early seasons the sopranos Tony Soprano. There’s a man who owns the oldest Italian restaurant in Brooklyn and they don’t do any of that fettucine alfredo bullshit here, understand?
In the pictures, Penguin’s subtle V-neck t-shirt stretches over his ample bosom and little squiggles of his chest hair peek out over the cleavage as if to say “Ciao bella” to any passer-by. A simple but expensive leather jacket that he clearly had tailored, paired with the jewelry on his middle finger tells me a few things: he’s got money, he knows the importance of well-fitting clothes, and most importantly, he’s not married.
i can smell it Parma’s water. I can hear the nasality in his voice as he calls me “honey.” I can feel the incredible smoothness of his hands. This man gets a manicure every week and graciously tips the nail technician. This man is chewing on a cigar, and the anger of several generations of Italian workers runs through his veins. This man openly slapped another man for objecting, calling him a bastard how he does it.
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This man approached me while I was eating a plate cheese and black pepper over a starch white tablecloth in his restaurant and asked if he could buy me a drink and I would say, “Yes please, I’d like an Aperol Spritz” from under heavy lids. This man would shout in approval made on my outfit as I show up at the door of his Cadillac CT5 for our date night. He drove two blocks to dinner, sang Louis Prima the whole time, and insisted on dropping me off at the door even though there was a seat a few yards away. He kissed my mother’s hands and called her A beautiful woman every time he sees her. This man is my husband.
The Penguin limited series rumored to take place right after the events of the batman, has no set release date yet (it is expected sometime in 2024). Accordingly diversitythe eight-episode series will also feature Cristin Milioti (PalmSprings), Rhenzy Feliz (charm), Michael Kelly (jack ryan), Shohreh Aghdashloo (The wide) and Clancy Brown (highlanders) as crime boss Salvatore Maroni.
Until we get more pictures of this Italian penguincan you catch me dreaming of becoming Oz Cobblebots princess.
