Damn Mario Kart meets Family Guy

I was appalled by the trailer for Distorted kart racers, a new kart racing game that ties together several popular animated series. But like a horrific car accident, I couldn’t look away from the waking nightmare of Peter Griffin and Hank Hill competing in a race Mario Kart Clone. It was cursed. And yet, now that I’ve actually played it, I’m even more appalled to tell you all that it’s actually pretty good.

Released earlier this month on Apple Arcade and so far nowhere else, Distorted kart racers

is very much a Mario Kart Clone. But instead of Mario, Peach or Bowser racing through the Mushroom Kingdom, warped includes a cast of characters and maps from four different animated sitcoms: Family Guy American Dad, king of the hilland uh…Solar Opposites, Whatever it is. If you’ve ever dreamed of being Peter Griffin and attacking Bobby Hill with a turtle while stuttering everyone through the streets of Langley Falls, Virginia, then your dream has come true.

And let’s be clear here: This is a Mario Kart Clone. The people who made this game know this and don’t really hide it, which is fine. If you want to make a game, why not play it like one of the most popular video game franchises of all time? Seems logical. As a clone of Nintendo’s popular kart racer warped features colorful tracks with shortcuts, tons of power-ups hidden in crates, drifting and boosting, big jumps, gliding and kart customization. Everything is there and everything works as expected.

When I first booted Distorted kart racers I was shocked by what I saw. All these characters and shows interact with each other in one Mario Kart wannabe is very strange, damn even. But only a bit of play revealed warped Being a fun and well made mobile kart racer. As with many of these games, you don’t need to speed up as the game does it for you. But you have to do everything else like steering, activating power-ups, drifting and braking. All of this can be done via touchscreen controls, which work well, or you can plug in a controller instead, which works brilliantly.

I won’t pretend I didn’t enjoy some episodes of american father and family Guy. And I have real love king of the hill. (Solar Opposites is… a show I’ve seen commercials for.) It helps a lot to be a fan of one or more of these shows. The 16 tracks are packed with little details and jokes straight out of the shows. I found myself slowing down at times and just appreciating how amazing the levels look. It is clear the people who have made warped I either really liked these shows or spent a lot of time watching them while I was making them. Likewise, character costumes and cosmetic items are ripped right from the show, so you can stick Dale’s Dead Bug mascot on the back of Stan’s CIA armored car.

(Yes, all pop culture is coalesce into one giant heap of gray monoculture mushbut I can still enjoy how damn it all is and have a good time while I slip into the abyss.)

And since this is an Apple Arcade game, all locked content, cosmetics, characters and other things are not tied to microtransactions or ads. You just play the game and unlock things. It’s a nice change from most other mobile games I play. Some daily challenges and the ability to level up each character help improve the mobile gaming experience if you’re someone who loves things like this, but never has to spend money to enjoy it Distorted kart racers. At least not beyond buying an Apple device and subscribing to Apple Arcade.

When you get tired Those of Mario Kart Tour In App Purchaseslove family Guy or king of the hillor are just looking for a solidly made, fun and good looking mobile game with no microtransactions, I would definitely recommend Distorted kart racers. And if you prefer card games, Animation throwdown on iOS, Android and Steam has been out for a few years, bringing together all these shows (plus Bob’s burger) together into a pretty good one Hearthstone-like deck of cards, too.

We live in strange times, but at least some of the games are fun.