Elden Ring enemies are ranked by how tasty they look to eat

Food is intended to be produced and consumed in The Lands Between. Many of these are made from herbs you collect on your journey: I often make raisins for torrent, dear steed, for example. But there are also many types of meaty booty that can be turned into a variety of tasty snacks. If you slay a deer or sheep, you may get a “Sliver of Meat” – combine it with Crab Eggs (among other things) to get “Invigorating Smoked Meat”. Delicious! This, like in many other games, suggests food Elden ring Enemies are natural.

Of course, I’ve been running around killing creatures, with an eye for crafting consumables – as they’re helpful in combat. But it also got me thinking, “Hmm, I wonder which of these creatures would be worth a little munch on?” The Lands Between are clearly full of dangerous delights, and if I lived there, which ones would I enjoy? They might not come with their own flavors (see: Pokémon’s FarFetch’d wielding a giant leek), but they certainly open a window of opportunity.

Our employees have explored these opportunities as we have explored them Elden ring‘s giant map. Here are the enemies we would like to eat. (And vegetarians and vegans are welcome to stray away from our carnivorous tastes – Elden ring is also lush with tasty herbs.)

Giant crabs (and the smaller ones too)

The mildest, most tender meat is typically found in the claw—which, by the way, is the part of the claw Elden ring Crab I’m most familiar with. The crab likes to swipe at me with its giant claw, so I know there’s a lot of good stuff in there. –Nicole Clark

splash land

Land squirts look a lot like the gross eggs in the original extraterrestrial. When I think of these eggs, only one thing comes to mind: a delicious spaghetti dinner. Would the land splash be tasty? Of course not. nothing inside Elden ring tastes better than a Tupperware with expired cottage cheese left in the sun for the month of July. But at least the Landspritze will remind me of that delicious pasta dish my astrologer will never enjoy. –Chris Plant

The birds have knives for legs

It’s a meal that comes with its own paraphernalia! Plus, they’re extremely annoying, and I bet victory would taste good (and wild). –peter people

Image: FromSoftware/Bandai Namco via Polygon

jellyfish

Of course, I would never eat my own summon (the horror), but there are a number of enemy jellyfish in the game, and they would go really well in a cold salad. –NC

crystal snail

When I first encountered these slimy geodes, I immediately thought of prying them out of their shells with a giant fork and frying them in butter. I just can’t help but feel that once you penetrate that hard shell, be it a rhinestone or a giant skull, the snail meat is chewy and earthy and so filling. I also didn’t enjoy snails when I ate them in real life, so I don’t know what convinced me these would be a satisfying experience. Maybe I’ve read too much Tasty in the dungeonor spent too long trapped in the dark tunnels of Elden ring. Anyway, I’m gonna crack open those crystals and slurp up one of those snails like a thick, juicy udon noodle. –Jenna Stoeber

land octopus

The growing cultural awareness that squid are smart as hell has led me to develop some new feelings about eating them. But the land octopus is a cranky, tangled mass of tentacles that doesn’t seem as smart as its underwater cousins ​​considering how it keeps running into my greatsword. What would be better than charring one of those big tentacles over high heat and covering it with butter? Doing it without guilt, that’s what. –Chelsea Stark

[Ed. Note: The following is a spoiler for late-game Elden Ring.]

Image: FromSoftware via Polygon

beast by hand

Feed me the Elden Beast! The final boss of the game looks like a combination of an eel, a dinosaur and all the stars in the universe. Immediately after killing him, I cut off a piece and ate it raw. It would result in me either becoming a god or dying instantly, and either way, it would be worth it. —Austen Goslin