The hype about FromSoftwares Elden ring has reached critical mass for ardent fans in the form of a very unorthodox debate. Surprisingly, the current discourse is around the most highly anticipated Souls-like game is not centered on the same thing tired online argument about reused animation. Oh no, this debate is about whether or not the horses in the game have tails.
In one Reddit discussion post With spoilers and unsafe for work tags, a Redditor named asiuhds made a post titled “WARNING VERY IMPORTANT DISCOVERY”. A click in the mosaicked preview image shows a shabby screenshot of Elden ringofficial gameplay trailer with a red circle drawn around a shadowy shape that could be the dirt of the horse climbing a cliff. Enter Horse Dickgate.
Surely the dingamabob in question isn’t from FromSoftware, which intentionally showcases its equine, HDR-assisted, ray-traced genitals, is it? On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly what the creative minds who included this image in the trailer rely on. Since I had the unfortunate privilege of being in this strange rabbit hole on the Elden ring subreddit, I’m going to curse you guys with some highlights from the discourse.
A typo-laden post by redditor estenombre said, “I was expecting a big, big spoiler … I’m not disappointed, lmao.”
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“Hopefully that’s patched. I want a flopper, ”wrote user Trick_Inevitable6043. They also happen to be the top commentators on the post and received a silver award for their humble contribution.
“Prolific Commentator” and “Aid Voter” The_Jolly_Bengali sent me on a trip with their commentary. While I briefly hoped they would be the voice of reason, claiming the appendage was simply a sword scabbard, they abandoned me.
“To be fair, what you’re seeing is probably just the vagina with the penis retracted,” they wrote. My belief in humanity is waning.
While many of the other comments were derivatives of Redditors typing in various combinations of “Cockring” with the title of the game, Redditor Stardraconis, my golden calf, typed what I thought and hypothesized that the theorists’ big foot-like phenomenon could actually only be one foot – that is, the left foot of man astride the horse. Apparently, Reddit is a young comedian’s haven, as user Devoidofimagination jokingly agreed, posting that it was probably “about a foot, give or take an inch”. Having never interacted with the Soulsborne community before, this experience made a hell of a good first impression on me.
Fortunately, the discourse just seems like a joke as hungry fans are waiting for more information Elden ring Analyze interesting facts before diving into the game. For their sake, I hope the ponytail debate is over Elden ring will be released on February 25th.
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