Every Pokémon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a lot Pokémon, but I enjoy the universe and love learning more about the creatures in it. So, here’s another Pokémon! It’s Galvantula!
Galvantula details
Type: Beetle / Electric
Average Height: 2’07 “
Average weight: 31.5 pounds.
First introduced in Generation V.
…Fuck. I passed out. I think I took a weekend off and then recently helped cover E3. I must have passed out because I just checked and someone else made a Pokemon instead of me. AND they praised it. We don’t do that here. This is the last time I’ll give Ari a weekend. Let’s come back to that anyway. This weekend I want to talk about a terrible spider that eats living things, including baby birds.
I should be open and transparent before going any further. You see i hate spiders. With passion. I might have mentioned this before, I don’t know, I’m not going to read all this shit I’ve written over the years. But yeah, spiders are the worst in my book. But even if I like spiders, I wouldn’t like Galvantula after reading it Bulbapedia page. This thing hunts and eats baby birds while they hang around in their nests. Not cool galvantula.
Not only does it purposely target and eat baby animals, but it can also spend days eating its prey. That’s because it uses its electric webbing to stun anything it catches. This numb state lasts for up to three days and nights. During this time, Galvantula will eat the prey alive.
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It’s such shit that makes it impossible for me to like or tolerate spiders. I mean, all the legs and the creepy eyes are bad enough. But then it could grab me, numb me for three days, and slowly eat me up. You don’t do much to build relationships between spiders and the rest of the world, Galvantula, you yellow haired asshole.
Random facts
- We all know Vapereon is the best Eevee evolution, regardless of what Ari may think.
- I cannot imagine living in a world where 2 foot tall spiders are not only accepted but also treated specially and trapped by children. Fuck it all!
- Galvantula is a good name. I give that. And that’s ALL I’m gonna give
Best comment from last week
“Jolteon is the damn best. Back then he saved me from so many traffic jams against opposing Mewtwos. Link cable warriors right there. “
-gokartmozart
I’ve heard stories from the Link Cable Warriors. They live in the north, near the valley. They use cords as weapons and work in pairs. Beware of them.
Here’s another Pokémon is a weekly look inside a Pokémon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is, and why. Catch new entries every weekend and Click here to see all of the past Pokémon we’ve covered.
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