Sea of Thieves it's about accumulating wealth, then giving it away for rewards. That is a totally horrible pirate gameplay mode, but there's only one problem I have to contend with time and time again: I'm in a big sausage, drunk on hubris, and I can't stop picking cursed boxes.
The Gold Hoarders are a group of passports that send players into the world to hold chests filled with gold. These chests are very important, and filling your boat with them can make you a target for other sea pirates. But there is a downside: Some of these breeds are cursed. One breast causes the pirate to get drunk, which is actually the most tolerable of the effects. If I take one of these, I end up feeling a little more subtle as I wander, and the key music is a little annoying, but actually a little silly.
They are the other two accursed chests that can cause major problems. One breast, the Chest of Sorrow, will start with a laugh and then fill the whole ship with water and refine it. The only way to solve the problem is to beat a breast in a drink, or to release bail tears as soon as possible.
Another cursed chest is something Rare adds to the latest update. This crazy little boy will stop at random, and if left unattended, the whole ship will burn in flames. (If you try to leave Rage's chest in the water, the chest just gets hot and turns it into a painful pain.)
Are you worth the risk?
You might think that with such dire consequences – and previous experiences with these allergies harming my day – I treated them with respect and would deliver under the safest conditions. Well, you think, I should have learned my lesson after the first few incidents.
Haha! No.
I am insulted by the dying amount of obsession, and my team pays a price as I continue to drag these chests into our boat. Sometimes I tell my friends, sometimes I forget. Sometimes we run to the beach with our arms full of treasures only to see our ship completely submerged and sailing under the waves. Someone will see the glitter of the frozen breast in the wreckage left behind, and the questions and accusations begin to fly.
There are people playing Sea of Thieves in the most efficient way: They leave everything behind, except for the most expensive and valuable possessions. A few hundred gold is simply not worth the effort to deliver to the seller.
My team and I play extremely smooth. We bring everything on board, from the most humble molded cups to molded chests and bags. Sometimes we make a game of figuring out how much we can get in and safe from enemies. In some cases, we end up mapping the wild course all over the map, often loading the cargo into ports and heading straight to another island to repeat the whole process.
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Image: Rare / Microsoft Game Studios
Greed is good
Cursed breasts throw little appeal in the works; they need to be babysat. They are important, but they are not the highest. We have debates about whether they are worth joining. But at the end of the day, my sense of greed often goes out. I like to look at my place full of riches, like a dragon.
There is another unexpected benefit to these accursed breasts: It is a duty of trust. That means you have to trust me not at all. There have been many times when my friends kindly warned me not to bring in the cursed chest, but I pressed it.
You can pick up all kinds of things on the boat (or get out of the boat) if you are smart enough. For example, you can put a snake in a cage and place a snake next to food bins, so if a person is injured and runs over trying to get bananas, the angry snake is poisonous. You can also easily hide the crow or the crazy boy in the boat, and the only thing to give out is the sound of desperation, or someone who notes that the ship is now gone.
It's a fast-paced gameplay
I love selling chests and getting gold, and that's a big part of why I keep collecting chests. But a part of me also wants the chaos presented. Traveling on a titular sea is very risky, but sometimes you find yourself in a quiet confines where your best mate can hear the wind and birds in the distance.
Throwing in a little spice keeps things interesting and fun. We have developed strategies for dealing with accursed muscles, such as having one of us hold the chest on our back while we are stuck at the very bottom of the ship. Anyone who holds the chest is actually blind, often going down under water when the ship climbs and falls in waves. The chest of fire forcing it to float around, linking buckets of water to quench the flames.
Here comes the origin of my attitude to the accursed chest: Part of me is afraid to leave them, because it will lead to a small demise. The other part of me is hungry to move it, even though I know it can make the whole ship, and result in a pretty big loss. I have no answer on how to hold both of these glasses, but my team would prefer not to like me. However, I will never stop. I am high on hubris and pirate power.
