Just Die Schon is one of those games that will make you laugh with a yes or a yes. In this title from the studio responsible for Goat Simulator, you play a group of old men who are faced with the possibility of growing hollyhocks in the bloodiest and funnest way you can imagine. I never thought growing up could be so fun, but if that’s the kind of endless pain that will be with me in my golden years, I don’t think I want to retire!
As you’d expect from something like Goat Simulator, the appeal of Just Die Schon isn’t exactly the story. Here you put yourself in the shoes of a senior citizen who was strangled from his old age prison at a birthday party. Now that they have thrown you out, you have to do something different and more dangerous Challenges from your to-do-be-for-you-list Spend your remaining years in a luxury nursing home. I can’t quite see what a devilish entry requirement that is, but okay.
The list is made up of different objectives that you must complete while exploring this open world. Many of them get you and others carved up in the craziest of ways, but there are also more innocent tasks like eating a certain amount of food or knocking over some trash cans. I enjoyed ticking things off the list; You can do it in any order, and many of them will reach you almost inadvertently as you explore and wreak havoc.
By completing these tasks, you will unlock various weapons and cosmetic items that are available from vending machines across the city. The choice of weapons is really extraordinary, by the way, because you can use things like bee grenades or a huge salami stick as a melee weapon. The problem I saw with the guns, however, is that they were not useful at all and too brutal considering many NPCs were unarmed. Another frustrating thing is that many NPCs reappear after death, which makes the fight completely useless.
The colorful sandpit city in which you find yourself is very varied and holds many secrets that you can discover if you take enough time to explore. Each of its sections has its own theme, for example one of them is modeled after an old monastery and another is a sports center with lots of swimming pools and baseball bat cages. What is disappointing is that this is the entire map that showcases the game and while I like it I found it to be relatively small and in a short amount of time I had been exploring all corners.
Unfortunately I couldn’t test it in my game, but it should be noted that Just Die already has a co-op mode for up to four players. You can explore the map freely with your colleagues and, as a team, complete tasks from each other’s lists. In addition, an update is expected in June that will include a PvP mode that will have four different combat scenarios. You can also customize your own game modes, but details on the latter are very rare at the moment. At least it looks like there will be new content that will extend the life of the title.
In small doses, Just Die Schon offers very goofy fun, but its long-term appeal is limited. It was weird at first, trying to find new ways to dismember myself, but the grace didn’t last long and in no time I’d seen everything the game had to offer. Even so, I often burst into laughter for the first few hours as I tried to overcome the absurd challenges and struggle with the physical simulations that made me feel like a rag doll. I’m sure Just Die Schon will bring you some fun moments, but don’t expect to get addicted to a game.
