Mamma mia, Nintendo stole Mario’s whole ass in his upcoming movie

Mario is a humble hero, and fans have been eagerly awaiting more news on his upcoming feature film. On Tuesday, Nintendo shared a teaser for an upcoming trailer, and we can see Mario in all his glory looking up at a bright and brilliant – hey. Hey, what’s up with his ass?

We real gamers all know that Mario is a plump little dude with a small stomach and a bulging butt. I don’t want to be controversial; That’s just what I’ve observed from hardcore games over decades. And yet, if you take a look at this poster, Mario has absolutely nothing to do in his jumpsuit.

Image: Illumination/Universal Pictures via Polygon

I can only assume Nintendo is fishing for one Sonic the Hedgehog-Style fan campaign to restore Mario’s powerful cheeks because right now it’s just sad to see such an iconic hero wearing such saggy empty jumpsuits. How can we trust this man to jump on Goombas and send Koopa shells flying when he’s barely got a cake left? I assume he is in fine company

with some other gaming icons, but Mario deserves better.

Secure, There are many fun Easter eggs to discover

from previous entries in the Mario canon, and it’s interesting to think about how a big star like Chris Pratt will voice this classic game character. But I can’t go into those things. I get too desperate when I think about Mario’s tiny little Hank Hill butt.

We’ll learn more about the film over on Thursday’s Nintendo Direct, focusing on The Super Mario Bros. Movie. It will be a while before all of our questions are answered; The film is scheduled to hit theaters on April 7, 2023.