Marry Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth, fuck Costa del Sol, kill Fort Condor

Since I believe in transparency, let me first say that there is no higher goal for it Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth when I. I know the fans of Final Fantasy 7 are legion and every single one of them believes they can claim the title of “biggest FF7 fan”. You have the right to think that. You are also wrong. I Love Final Fantasy 7 the most, and I enjoy it Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth probably more than anyone else. However, there is one thing that I am not Enjoy: Fort Condor. Fuck the game.

A little summary: Fort Condor is a tower defense mini-game that first appeared in Breakthe bonus chapter added to it Final Fantasy 7 Remake Intermediate stage Re-release. Based on an excerpt from the original FF7, Fort Condor took the form of a board game played by the characters Breakin which players assembled a formation of small troops (attackers, defenders, and long-range units) and sent them to destroy their opponent’s tower – as well as counter-units sent by their opponent to do the same.

BreakFort Condor was simple but charming and fun. Something like this can immediately put you off playing as much as you can before getting into the so-called “main plot.” I was glad it came back Rebirth – and then I actually played. People? I hate it.

New Fort Condor isn’t a little crafting board game, but rather a series of silly challenges with sharply increasing levels of difficulty, and the difference between the two versions amazes me. I don’t think a single game has presented such a great additional challenge since professional football invented the forward pass.

Image: Square Enix

That is, I Do Understand why the new version of Fort Condor is much harder and why it’s a good idea in the first place. You see, despite a number of superficial changes – replacing Materia spells with hero units or allowing players to choose from set lineups rather than assemble teams – any given Fort Condor game is always a puzzle for which there is an ideal solution . Included in the previous version Break, this puzzle could be solved before the game even started – all you had to do was look at the opponent’s lineup and use the necessary counters. Simple rock, paper, scissors.

The new Fort Condor in Rebirthhowever, limits you to a few possible configurations based on overall strategy: Do you think an offensive or defensive playstyle is best? Which of the three types of units will your match be based on? Which combination of the two do you think will bring you success?

While you can figure it out some After solving the puzzle in the setup, the actual solution is found during the game: learn the opposing team’s formation and rhythm (which never changes) and optimize your timing to exploit weaknesses. This makes Fort Condor more of a game for you playand not one that you just spam through.

I just think the game sucks. It’s largely a trial-and-error process where the moment-to-moment decisions aren’t particularly interesting and are largely made for you. (See defensive units coming at you? Better pull out your long-range units.) In my experience, there is only one “Eureka!” moment per game, and it is the moment that ultimately gives you a victory. This can happen after a few tries or a few dozen tries – and neither feels satisfying because I never feel like it I found out something.

Look, I’m usually a smart person. I do crosswords without looking anything up and I get it beginning the first time I saw it. Maybe one day I’ll even read Pynchon on the Beach, just to show how easy it can be. Challenging art is good, and I don’t think mini-games need to be simple to be fun. HoweverThere’s a difference between a game being difficult and really fucking annoying, and if you want to know what that is, I recommend you play Fort Condor.