Every Pokémon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a lot Pokémon, but I enjoy the universe and love learning more about the creatures in it. So, here’s another Pokémon! It’s slugma!
Slugma details
Type: fire
Average Height: 2’04 “
Average weight: 77.2 lbs.
First introduced in Generation II
I’ve never been a big sleeper. At some point I’ll go to bed, but I’d rather not. I only started going to bed at a normal and constant time when I got a writing job here. Before that (or whenever I’m free) I stay up late and watch or play until 4 a.m. So I’m related to Slugma! Well, mostly. I won’t literally dry out and die while sleeping. And the last time I checked, there was no lava flowing through my veins either. But other than that, I’m just like Slugma.
Accordingly Bulbapedia, Slugma’s body contains magma instead of blood. That’s funny. But even this magma actually carries nutrients and oxygen through its flaming body. It’s … just not possible now that I think about it. I’m not a lava expert, but I don’t think nutrients would last long in hot magma. Oxygen seems even less likely to last. Wouldn’t that explode? Maybe this is just a joke that it’s hot blooded? If so, get better writers at Pokemon Company.
If this whole “lava blood” thing is true then it makes sense why this thing can’t stop moving, even to sleep. I can only imagine how much raw energy and power there must be in a creature walking on pure magma. According to Pokedex entries, when it stops moving it will turn into a brittle, fragile stone and break into many pieces. Maybe like a liquid metal terminator, you could just toss the pieces back into a hot steel saucepan or something and it would come back to life. If you own a Slugma try now and tell me how it goes.
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*Two days later…*
Oh hey, an email from a reader who kind of reads Kotaku while living in the actual, literal Pokemon universe. He says he tried the slugma trick I mentioned and he didn’t come back. His beloved pet, friend, and Pokemon buddy is now forever dead. Well … good to know.
Random facts
- This email I received was fake and a joke. The person actually just said “Kotaku sucks. Pick up your checks on Xbox, you Sony haters! ”Hated even in the Pokemon universe.
- Slugma prefers to hang out in warm places and often hang out with fellow Slugma to stay hot. HOT SLUGMA SUMMER BABY!
- I suppose Abomasnow and Slugma would hate each other. Not just because of the cold weather Abomasnow produces, but also because OBAMAsnow is not loved by people filled with MAGA … Did this political joke work? I hope so because I can’t delete anything this weekend after losing a terrible bet.
Best comment from last week
I love Aromatisses Scream. It sounds like the beginning of a Michael Jackson song.
–Volnunes
Hm…
Here’s another Pokémon is a weekly look inside a Pokémon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is, and why. Get new entries every weekend!
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