The Lord of the Rings: The Hunt for Gollum is probably about Aragorn

The news is out: Peter Jackson and his Lord of the Rings collaborators will executive produce a new film set in Middle-earth, with Andy Serkis set to direct and reprise his role as Gollum, and the working title being Lord of the Rings: The Hunt for Gollum.

So only one question arises: what exactly could it be about? With real textual experts like Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh in attendance, one thing immediately comes to mind – a 50-day battle in which Aragorn captured Gollum in a swamp and physically dragged him across land for almost 900 miles before they reached the court prisons of the Elven King Thranduil.

So actually there are two questions: What is “The Hunt for Gollum” about? And How do you make it into a great film?

Image: New Line Cinema

Most of what we know about this time in Aragorn and Gollum’s lives comes from the text of The Fellowship of the Ringfrom some asides during the Council of Elrond about Gandalf’s long quest to verify whether Bilbo’s ring was indeed the fabled one.

Jackson’s film shortens this period for brevity, but in Tolkien’s text 17 years pass between Bilbo’s birthday, when Frodo gets the ring, and the scene in which Gandalf returns to see if he had kept it a secret (kept it safe). Gandalf spent a lot of time searching for Gollum so he could question the creature about how he got the ring. To this end, he used Aragorn’s skills as a tracker.

But finding Gollum throughout Middle-earth turned out to be a real needle in a haystack, and eventually they decided to give up. Gandalf went to Gondor to read ancient texts, and Aragorn headed west, back to his rangers. At this point, Aragorn found Gollum’s tracks completely by accident the dead swamps and caught him.

It then took him over a month and a half to drag his prisoner to civilization so Gandalf could interrogate him. You know the scene where Sam and Frodo drag Gollum along while he screams like a toddler from hell? Imagine that, but for seven weeks. Tolkien makes it exceedingly – perhaps comically – clear that this was no joke.

“It was covered in green slime,” Aragorn tells the council. “He will never love me, I fear; for he bit me, and I was not gentle. I never got more from his mouth than the impressions of his teeth. I considered it the worst part of my whole journey, the way back, where I watched him day and night, letting him walk before me, gagged with a halter around his neck, until he was tamed by the lack of drink and food, and always him Mirkwood drifted further towards me. I finally brought him there and gave him to the elves, for we had agreed that this should be done; and I was glad to get rid of his company, for he stank.”

You have heard it, from the mouths of Aragorn II, King Elessar Telcontar, Chieftain of the Dúnedain of the North, Isildur’s Heir, Elendil’s Heir, High King of Gondor and Arnor, King of the West.

Gollum: “He stank.”

This interlude is really the only thing in “Lord of the Rings” that is comparable to a “hunt” for Gollum. No one else is really hunting for him! Sure, he was tortured by Sauron, but only after he wandered free into Mordor. He eventually escaped from Mirkwood’s prisons, but the elves lost track of him fairly quickly.

If we’re really talking about Aragorn’s terrible, terrible, no good, very bad month here, are Viggo Mortensen and Ian McKellen coming back to play Aragorn and Gandalf? What about Lee Pace and Orlando Bloom as Mirkwood’s King Thandruil and Legolas? Tolkien fans have compiled a widely acclaimed unofficial work The Hunt for Gollum Film from 2009, but only 38 minutes long. How the hell in Middle-earth does this one-paragraph saga turn into a feature-length blockbuster?

If it were anyone other than Boyens, Jackson, Walsh and Serkis, it would be easy to dismiss the whole idea out of hand. But the group has a track record of at least 50% success when it comes to producing Lord of the Rings movies – perhaps they can make the world’s worst buddy road trip movie work.