Dragon Age: The Veil Guardian is a game about assembling a team to fight ancient elven gods, but the more time I spend in Thedas, the more I realize I’d rather hunt down another villain. Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain are two members of the ancient elven pantheon known as Evanuris, and they are up to no good – destroying villages, murdering innocents, and trying to restore their ancient empire. But I think that’s a complete snooze compared to the game’s true villain star: Johanna Hezenkoss, evil corpse in progress and absolute queen.
I should probably explain why I’m not worried about the Evanuris, even though they represent a very real and urgent apocalypse. There are certainly things I like about her character design, as well as cool moments related to the story. Ghilan’nain looks great; Whether she’s a disturbingly lithe figure, blinded by rot and too many limbs, or a giant face in the clouds, I love her design. And I also liked those creepy moments where Elgar’nan whispers in the protagonist Rook’s head and promises him impossible gifts.
Unfortunately, these moments are drowned out by the duo’s dialogue, which is pretty basic. The two roar about drowning the world in corruption, about endless power, about the futility of anyone who tries to fight them, and about their immortality. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a doomsday villain, and after the second encounter or so I found myself bored. Elgar’nan in particular is a disappointment. Ghilan’nain can rely on her brilliant visual design and her army of monsters; Elgar’nan is just a big guy with an impractical hat.
Compare her to Johanna Hezenkoss, a woman who looks remarkably mundane in comparison. She wears the simple garb of the funeral guard, protective goggles and a practical hairstyle. If it weren’t for the hideous lantern at her side, one might mistake her for a simple laboratory assistant. Emmrich, one of the game’s best companions, asks you to hunt Hezenkoss on his behalf. She gains the upper hand – literally, by revealing that the group’s Hand of Glory is actually her own severed appendage – and banishes the group to nothingness.
That’s a pretty strong start for a villain, but it gets better as you continue Emmrich’s storyline. Eventually you learn that Hezenkoss is hosting a big, fancy soirée at her evil necromancer mansion. This is obviously suspicious, so the team investigates and finds that Hezenkoss has invited petty rivals, annoying nobles, and her other enemies so she can sacrifice them all and inhabit the body of a giant golden skeletal monster. It’s like The menubut for necromancy.
I for one appreciate the goal of sacrificing a lot of people you don’t like so you can ascend to the immortal form of a giant skeleton. It reminds me of the Spider-Man meme where the hero tells a pterodactyl scientist that he could cure cancer with his technology, and the pterodactyl man – who happens to be riding a triceratops – replies that he can’t cure cancer wants to heal. He wants to turn people into dinosaurs.
While Hezenkoss and Elgar’nan both want power, one of them takes a much more theatrical approach to it. I love a good mad scientist, and Hezenkoss pulls off the role with aplomb. I don’t want to give away the conclusion of her confrontation with Emmrich, but it is one of them The Veil GuardianThe strongest moments. Part of me longs for an alternate history where The Veil Guardian had a much smaller scope and less urgent missions. In this hypothetical alternate timeline, I think Johanna Hezenkoss deserves a promotion to main villain. I’ve already forgotten Elgar’nan and his plans, but Hezenkoss will live on in my heart – a villain with ambition, goals, and the freedom to chew the scenery a little in her moment of triumph.
