Bayonetta 3 review: An instant classic that feels like a proper old-school, informative Nintendo adventure

Mario, Kirby, Zelda, Donkey Kong, Samus Alan, Angel Hunt.witch by virtue of Angel Witch 3, while any doubts about her role as the Mario House mascot have been resolved in a cauldron full of demon blood, keratin and rocket fuel. With the chanting of spells and the click of fingers in delicate gloves, Witchcraft 3 made sure that the Umbran Witch became a Nintendo icon — and maybe even usurped some of the more…family-friendly…faces in the process. Bayonetta 3, for Switch owners, is a must.

It doesn’t start with a bang, it starts with a whimper. The game’s introduction is slow and exciting; making you trek like an angel hunter through a world torn apart by unknowable chaotic entities. You can’t run, you can’t jump, you can’t fight – you just stumble because life is sucked out of this world you used to call home. A group of ragged heroes die by your side, and you’re forced to watch a brave young witch upstart tearing apart the barriers of reality, desperate to save…what.

Welcome to Bayonetta 3, one of the most delightfully ridiculous games you’ll have the pleasure of playing this year. Hell, maybe even this generation. That sloppy intro seems to have been placed on purpose to show you the speed and fury of the actual game. Once you’ve cleared the prologue and the stakes (read: the multiverse) are clear, you’ll cut into your hair dynamic, savage witch, shredding the streets of Los Angeles like a femdom goes to a party. The proverbial shit hits fans of metaphors, and it’s time to fight – PlatinumGames shows you right away that it’s back up and running and ready for business.

Melee is fast, reactive and empowering. Enemies are designed to take hard hits and will respond nicely to you offering them a naughty backhand, or stomping on their necks with stilettos. Throughout the game, battles take place rhythmically, with each battle lasting no more than a few minutes. The result is that even boss fights feel fast and powerful — nothing beats it, and the fast pace of it all makes you feel like you should be a hell of a witch.

Right from the start, you still feel incredibly powerful, before you have any stupid and over-the-top weapons and demons you’ll ever have. It’s like starting with Bayonetta 2, right out the door – how many games have managed to give you that godlike power fantasy right out of the gate? Even more impressively, Platinum has managed to fit even more mechanics into the sequel’s already overflowing cup, with the highlight being your demonic slaves – hulking monsters you can summon at will to wreak laughs on your enemies, world damage, and anything that gets in your way.

Somehow, platinum allows Bayonetta to excel at both micro and macro. Butterfly women like Kaiju, live trains, frogs, spiders… Commanding them to follow your commands as you twist and wiggle feels incredible when you need to switch back to your guns, hammers and more traditional weapons for some You’ll never miss a beat when it comes to the melee of details. Even after 30 hours, this whipping from monster moshpit to Bayonetta ballet doesn’t get old.

This is likely because there is so much going on between these spontaneous, violent, flashy dances. Each weapon you acquire allows you to “disguise” as the corresponding demon, giving you unique ways to circumnavigate the vast areas that make up the world of Bayonetta 3. Secrets, challenges and fierce battles are hidden all over the world – even the closed realms of Inferno and Paraside can find a way to break through.

The result is downtime that feels like uptime. The exhilarating exploration and little secrets to know have you grinning and saying “you bastard” when you finally find them — even if you spend about 20 minutes of sloppy platforming. The camera has a few hiccups (especially in some of the harder “The Floor is Lava” challenges), and the lockup leaves a lot to be desired at times…but when you can summon a demon made of hair, the entire arena , until you win, you’ll soon forget about these little quirks.

When you’re not moving on in other areas, scratching your head while trying to make sense of a story that even makes JoJo’s bizarre adventure seem understandable, you can play the spy action platformer part (yes, really) or get involved in the super bosses in Fight in alternate reality versions of the levels you’ve cleared. The spy parts aren’t amazing — I mean, they’re fun and fun, of course — but they’re not on the level of everything else in the game. But when you’re blasting the freeway with the afterburner on for hours at a time, sometimes it’s nice to coast for a while, right?

Bayonetta 3 feels like an authentic old-school Nintendo game; the kind you’d excitedly tear open at Christmas, plug it into your console, and never take it out. In the age of service games and microtransactions, it’s comforting and exciting to have a game with so much “disk” content. Every level is full of secrets, the replayability value is at its peak (I can’t talk too much about it yet), and even just repeating a level to try and get platinum rank for every bit feels like it’s going to get you through, Until your next hit with dopamine and adrenaline.

As a game, and a supplement for people tired of buying season passes and DLC, Angel Hunt 3 is a must-have. A love letter to a classic Nintendo game that will make you laugh, giggle, and feel like a total badass. PlatinumGames has been a bit of a misfire lately, but with an apt conclusion to the original Bayonetta trilogy, the studio is proving it can still fire on all cylinders and then fire again. This might just be one of the best games on the Nintendo Switch.

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