There is nothing good about hot pockets, and I mean as a person, for some reason, enjoying the Hot Pocket every so often. Have I been under the impression that they were right? No. I always knew where I was getting into and always understood the results. Hot packs are not as much food as it is an exercise. They are a way to distance yourself from anything you know to exist.
There is nothing embedded within the Hot Pocket's taste that should fit you into the world that exists without its dark, beige jersey. The question to be asked before choosing a Hot Pocket is, “Do you want to be disappointed today?” And of course, Hot Pockets, I see, are human. Like us, they are not even close to perfection, and sometimes they are not even close to being right, but we all have a purpose, and we do our best.
Over the course of four days, I have consumed 35 packs of Excellent. No one should do this. The staff of the three supermarkets I bought at all Hot Pocket stores also believed that no one should try this without a note from their doctor, or from me, their manager. To fully understand the space The Big Packs entered this world, I had checked each of the two hot pockets twice: once for my food critic's detention, and once after smoking a fat spray. Here's how they are calculated, from worst to worst.
14. Top Protein Steak Fajita recipe
Photo Wendy & # 39; s chili, but instead of the pickled meat hamburger, the fried meat used in Fancy Feast. If not for the infamous Hot Pocket kick of cayenne, I wouldn't be surprised to find that this is, in fact, a Fancy Feast en croute. Cats do not eat mild-tasting foods, however, because they harm their beloved carcasses.
13. Top Fuck of Bacon Black Chicken Cheddar Cheese Melt
I have eaten this Pocket Hot three days ago, and am still struggling with how to best describe the texture of her white chicken lamb, staring at the serene sea of cheddar like protein-packed buoys. I've thought of comparing meat to a sponge, but a sponge (even old, dune) doesn't have a firm, vibrant spring that the white chicken's skin has. They have a natural smoothness of the pâte de good fruit, but instead of being made with fruit puree and pectin, they are made with a little chicken broth made of fat clay and rubber epoxy. While the white chicken chicken makes the sound very scriptural, the top taste of this Hot Pocket is imitating bacon – which is especially notable because the Hot Pocket, in fact, contains bacon itself. This Hot Pocket has confused and annoyed me, and I wish to recall its existence from my memory.
12-10. Hot Pocket Pizzas
Premium Pepperoni; Four cheeses; Italian Meatballs and Mozzarella Styles
Pizza Hot packs are not like strombolis, no sauces, or calzones, they produce soft and wide cheese. The Pizza Hot Packages are designed by people who know exactly what the only thing they need to do is fill the pizza kind of stuff in the dough box and no one can ask the hard questions: Why does pepperoni pizza have a soup consistency? What are four cheeses and should they taste like this? Who was the man who invented the meatball recipe, and have they ever tasted meatball before joining the Hot Pocket Corporate? None of us will know the answers to these things, and clearly, none of us have to. We have been allowing the presence of hot packs for almost 40 years, and we will always enjoy a dough tube filled with pizza juice.
As is the case with real pizza, Hot Pocket Pizzas also offers a variety of frozen styles. The "Garlic Buttery Crust" lacks the clear taste of garlic and left me wondering how difficult it would be to manage an organization with over $ 650 million in annual sales to figure out how to make garlic bread. The "Crispy Crust," found throughout the Hot Pocket line, tasted like a toxic matzoh. This is not entirely unpleasant.
9. High Italian Italian Protein Style
This may have been done under the banner of Hot Pocket Pizza, but because this variety uses a reasonable amount of sausage and cheese, it receives less treatment. There are several salty foods here, but their taste is intertwined so nothing is noticeable. So big is the proper balance of nutrients, which makes this the best Hot Pocket for people who want pizza and want protein, don't know, Crossfitting?
8. Black Beef, Broccoli and Cheddar
The waterproof, unhealthy dots of pre-frozen broccoli are the best part of this Hot Package, so that should tell you a lot about the whole situation.
7. Cheddar Cheeseburger
I was expecting this Hot Pocket to be full of fatty red meat and melted lava-esque cheese. Instead, it was topped with fatty red meat, melted lava-esque cheese, and ketchup. Ergo, Cheddar Cheeseburger is ranked in the middle of this position, and its spot on the list depends on one's mood by including ketchup on the burger. I, at first, was not happy about it, but even if I had an anti-ketchup, I will admit that it was the best Pocket Hot ever on this list.
6. Philly Steak and Cheese
The Philly cheesesteak was made to be translated as Pocket Hot. A good cheesesteak should be silk, crunchy; if anything, its Hot Pocketization has stopped making it difficult to submit. It has hints of melted salt cheese and tangible strips of sweet peppers. Oil, chopped Steak-ummsThe beef-style is a little off, which is a luck mistake. This may not be enough room for a real Philly cheesesteak, but judging by its own, it's a well-built trash can.
This is one of the variants of Hot Pocket that I can find with different styles of crack. In examining the "Seasoned Crust," it became clear that in the World According to the Hot Packages, anything "allowed" would have no soft taste, and the lesser-known varieties seemed to have a cup of salt in the Pocket Pocket.
5. Fiery Chorizo Queso Fundido Stuffed Pretzel
Hotzel Hot Packs may be the only Healthy Cheap Pockets for anyone who unknowingly consumes them. This variety is as human-thought, too fat, and I have no doubt that the chorizo is not just doused with hot dogs with a valuable brand taco powder — but these are all good signs for the Hot Pocket atmosphere. It’s like Tex-Mexico hot chili, roasted inside a pretzel stick. If you don't like them, there's plenty to like here.
4. Applewood Bacon, Egg and Cheese
This is the only breakfast I've tested, and it was actually the only thing I had to discuss before I got the point of these things. Listen, Breakfast Packages Free gets the job done, and if you eat Hot Hot Packs, that's all you hope for, right? You do not have to have some kind of re-identification, experience such as knowing about your hope brunch Hot Pocket. All you want to eat right away is something normal and unhealthy, since you shouldn't take statins on an empty stomach. This tastes like microwaved eggs, bacon, and cheese. All right. That's all it needs to be: okay.
3. Hickory Ham & Cheddar
Ham and Cheese are the OG Hot Pocket, introduced back in 1980 when they were still called Tastywiches. Seriously, who isn't, to some extent, sexually attracted to a hot sandwich and cheese? It is a great form and easy win. This is a Hot Pocket that doesn't force me to ask any questions, and thank you.
2. Meat Taco
Beef Taco is a successful Hot Pocket because we Americans have a smart barrel of taco-flavored products, and that's okay. Although our nation is blessed with high, clear tones from other countries from coast to coast, there is still room for everything tacos and taco- stuff around America: Taco Bell's stunning distortion, petrol station alcohol, electric citrus cheezes scattered throughout the bowling alley snack bar. Beef Taco Hot Pockets, from the moment of their birth, race to the bottom, and it is precisely that quality that puts them very close to the top of this rank.
1. Cheesy Jalapeno Stuffed Pretzel
Of all the hot packs I signed journalism, this one I've seen myself buy again. That's great! Hot hot chezel – made cleaner than usual thanks to a microwave-less magic – filled with melted cheese and chopped jalapeños. This can be the only product made for Free Pockets, and it can be totally appropriate. That might be something for R&D to think about.