If there’s anything in the world more invigorating, purer, and utterly more exciting than watching five little blond bitches Puking mimosas on TV, I don’t know what it is.
Reality TV was a part of my life as soon as I could ask, “Mom, what is a teenage pregnancy?” Around the age of four. But despite my lifelong fascination with those ugly knee-high fur boots Jersey Shore
I remember those things, but when a streaming service presents me with yet another cast of skinny, airbrushed women promising the most dramatic season ever, I crawl back to reality TV like a spider stalks its web-encased prey. Or maybe I’m the prey.
I just can’t look away is my point. I can’t defend reality TV, but I can’t stop watching these Barbie doll people cry, their ugly sobs becoming red-faced confessionals and Instagram captions that I can scan, read, and send to all my friends. It sucks. But it’s delicious to become an animal in this way, turning despair into a spectacle to celebrate over vodka cranberry.
So I won’t apologize for putting together this despicable list of video games that will entertain you as much as the cheesiest reality TV star. Each entry in this list has a specific type of reality TV fan in mind – the Sell sunset angels, the hawks survivor spectators who Real housewives Freaks, you’ll all find yourself here. This is my safe haven for trash TV, but these games are good enough to revisit after a set is closed for misconduct.