Today is American Thanksgiving Day, and I’m one of the many people (hopefully, good God hopefully) who choose not to celebrate the holiday with a big family gathering. It sucks, but it’s a necessary sacrifice so that we can all be safe, healthy, and healthy alive spend the next Thanksgiving day together.
Even without the specter of desire hanging over us, it’s been a long time since my extended family gathered together and had a good old-fashioned Thanksgiving meal. I miss my mom’s turkey and my aunt’s dressing (she always made two types: oysters and non-oysters). I miss my other aunt’s collard greens and her black-eyed peas and the sweet potatoes she garnished with marshmallows and pecans. Most of all, I miss my grandma’s rolls, which no one has been able to recreate since her death last January.
There are those of us who spend the day with our video game families instead of our real ones, whether for isolation or other bittersweet reasons. I think my video game family would bring this to Thanksgiving Day.
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Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII Remake)
This man doesn’t cook. There’s no way of knowing whether or not he just can’t. If he can’t do it in the microwave, it won’t be done. He depends on others, especially women, to feed his child. Not because he thought about gender roles, but because at some point, deep in his past, a kitchen did him morally injustice and he gave up cooking forever.
He can grill his ass but off. Even if it’s Thanksgiving, expect a perfect brisket.
Grace Walker (Wolfenstein: The new colossus)
Grace Walker is the kind of black aunt who cooks up Thanksgiving and whirls around with a cigarette in hand the whole time without spilling any ash. She’s the only aunt who can cook cook and is the only one given the privilege to make macaroni and cheese. It’s stupid to ask her about the recipe – the dimensions, timing, and ingredients change at will – but it tastes the same and so damn it Well every time. There’s a reason your elderly relatives don’t eat macaroni and cheese that aren’t made in their hand and verbally destroy anyone who tries to usurp their sacred position. Don’t eat pork.
Athena (Hades)
Athena is the bougie aunt who thinks she is better than everyone else because she has an advanced degree and studied abroad in Greece for a few years. She occasionally crouches out of the celebration to put out fires at work by “giving a blessing.” You don’t know what she’s doing, but you feel like all of her employees are idiots.
She brings store-bought cookies for dessert that no one eats.
Clementine (the Walking Dead)
Like Barret, she doesn’t cook. Never learned. Feeds itself exclusively via DoorDash. However, she is very helpful and always eager to help in the kitchen. Aunt Grace often drives her away because she is in the way. The family matriarch punishes her for “yelling at her baby”.
Cullen Ru therford (Dragon Age: Inquisition
)
Cullen is the white friend that everyone tolerates because he’s cute and deep religious. Must be told to take off his shoes. Loud wonders where all the casseroles are.
Sazh Katzroy (Final Fantasy XIII)
Sazh is the uncle who insists that everyone call him “unc”. He’s the party uncle and the Thanksgiving DJ. Often attracts the old hits that everyone knows but still says, “What do you know exactly here?” to his younger nieces and nephews. Adores his little son.
Nothing but a deck of cards. will murder the whole family at Spades.
Prince Zagreus (Hades)
Clementine’s friend from school, who looked kind of sad and pathetic, brought her home. Is connected to Athena in some way, but none of them work out. Doesn’t like answering questions about his family. Doesn’t bring food, but brings in Bitch bottle something that everyone wants to try.
Don’t stay long.
Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza 0)
Foreign exchange student ?? Seriously, nobody knows how he got there, but nobody cares because he’s such a cute boy. Looks tough but still plays with all of the cousins. Big Mama asks if she can fix a plate for him. He’s your brother now.
Commander Zavala (Fate 2)
Can throw in the kitchen. Do the Collard Greens, one with Hamhocks and one without for Aunt Grace. She is impressed with his thoughtfulness and tries to give him her number. Zavala makes strange excuses about “Europe” and “protecting humanity” and slips out the back door.
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