The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Review: This is not a review

This is not a review by The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe. If you clicked on that, you think it would actually be a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra DeluxeI’m sorry to disappoint you, but that’s not the point here.

Unfortunately for me who agreed to a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe for igamesnews to even describe the relationship between the The Stanley Parable (2013) and The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe (2022) is said to ruin the entire gaming experience Ultra Deluxe, a game that is an extended meta joke about games. And because a video game review isn’t meant to ruin the entire experience of playing a video game, I have very few tools at my disposal to write that review.

However, I sympathize with the fact that you click on it and expect it to be a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe. I do. I have an idea for that. If you clicked on that non-review to decide whether to buy and/or play this game, I’ve got just the thing for you. (Hit them with the old Polygon recommendations, Mike.)

(Thanks, Mike.)

Well there! Fret no more, would-be consumers. However, this is not a review of The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe

should now be clear that Polygon recommended The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe.

phew I feel better already. Not true?

(Note to self: find a screenshot to paste here. This game’s screens are all so boring so maybe use something from Elden ring. We have plenty of that. DON’T FORGET TO DELETE THIS)

Anyway, if that’s all you came here for, feel free to walk away. This is not and will not be a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxea game recommended by Polygon.

…

OK, I think they’re gone now. Just you and me. Thank you for staying in there. I have to say it’s not pleasant not to write a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe. I really want to share some of the more insightful and smarter moments from the game like when

and the one time when

. Those were great moments. Really great moments. Really great stuff.

At this moment you may be doubting that I actually played this game. One of the basic assumptions we have when reading a review is that the reviewer has actually played at least part of the game, to the point where they’ve been able to form a coherent opinion about it. To your credit, hypothetical skeptical reader, I might not have been able to play this game and still write what I wrote. It’s a valid, if somewhat conspiratorial, concern. To that end, here’s a screenshot of a system menu on my PlayStation 5 to ease your concerns:

Grayson Morley's proof that he actually played The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe

How’s that for transparency? It’s not that I not play The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe and thus could not

write a review about The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe. No no. This is me chosen not to write a review The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe.

Which leads us to the natural question: why would I choose to write the review this way?

I mean, what is Metacritic going to do with this anyway? Is that a positive review? is that mixed Does Metacritic have an “abstain” option? I don’t know much about SEO, but I imagine this review isn’t optimized, so even the advertisers won’t be impressed. Elden ring

, Elden ring, Elden ring. That should help if Mike even decides to post this as you know. I wouldn’t blame him.

OK, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve proven you’re a Valued Platinum Reader™. So I’ll agree with you: I wrote this review like that because if you’re the kind of person who can make it to the end and doesn’t totally hate the reviewer (me) and also find that you are the kind Someone who is actually kind of amused by this whole “deconstruction of genre as an extended joke” vibe I’m giving off, and what’s more, you’ve laughed or smirked at least once while reading this non-review, then you’re a fact a person who should play The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe. Even if you played the original. Maybe especially if you’ve played the original.

What’s a long way to say:

Finally, The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe is a game that can and should be played.

The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxe was released on April 27th on Linux, Mac, Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Windows PC, Xbox One and Xbox Series X. The game was not verified on PlayStation 5 with a download code provided by Crows Crows Crows. Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not affect editorial content, although Vox Media may earn commissions on products purchased through affiliate links. you can find For more information on Polygon’s Ethics Policy, click here. If you want to complain about this non-rating The Parable of Stanley: Ultra Deluxeyou can email [email protected].